Serenity
by Eclipse-Vamp
Summary: There have been many stories about Alice and Jasper's journey to the Cullens from 1948 to 1950, but not one quite like this one. This is Jasper's dark journey about learning to trust and love and that war is not how vampires have to live life.
1. Chapter 1: Gorgeous Stranger

**A/N: So, here is my next story...There's not much to say right now...hope you like it (that was awkward, no?).**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.  
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"If I'm smart then I'll run away**__**  
**__**But I'm not so I guess I'll stay**__**  
**__**Haven't you heard**__**  
**__**I fell in love with a beautiful stranger"**_

_**-Madonna, Beautiful Stranger**_

Chapter One: Gorgeous stranger

Alice POV

_He was gorgeous. He had red eyes, golden, windblown hair, and scars that marred his face. He was very tall, built well, and his eyes showed torture beyond belief. He was staring at me, tenderness soothing the pain in his eyes. The corners of his full lips were slightly turned upward, though I could barely tell that he was trying to smile. I wanted him to. It hurt me to see him so hurt, though I had never met him in my life. He reached his hand out timidly, as if he were afraid to touch me. I held my hand out, encouraging him. He flinched slightly and grew tense when I put my hand out, but he still took it. His hand, rough and bumpy, was around two sizes bigger than mine, but our hands fit perfectly. _

_"So, where to, Miss Alice?" he asked in a voice like honey. There was a small drawl to it that made me suspect he was from the south._

My eyes opened, which surprised me because I thought they already were. He was gone, my blonde angel. Sadness stabbed my heart. Where did he go? I needed him. I quickly shook off my saddening thoughts and looked around me. I was in the middle of nowhere. I sat up before my throat started to burn.

Burn was an understatement. I felt like everything sharp in the entire world was stabbing my throat as well as my neck being set on fire. Only one thought coursed through my body: put the fire out; stop the pain. I was suddenly on my feet, letting them lead me towards an extinguisher of this pain.

A lost boy wheeled around to face me.

"Have you seen my mommy?" he asked before fear filled his eyes. "What's wrong with your eyes?" I smirked evilly and grabbed the boy by the shoulders. His skin was very warm and I could feel his bones crunch beneath my fingers. The boy cried out in protest as I bit into his scrumptious neck. It tasted absolutely amazing. The boy's heart was fighting to pump the sweet blood. It stuttered before going completely still. I drank the last few gulps before tossing the carcass aside. I needed more.

I ran a few more yards before I reached a young couple. They saw me and looked at the ground guiltily.

"Please don't tell our parents," the girl said. I ran at her and they both screamed. The boy tried to throw himself in front of the girl, but I was too fast. My lips were at her throat in a second and the boy started running way. He looked like he was walking away from me compared to my speed. The girl was dead within seconds and I threw her body at the boy. He collapsed under the impact.

"Mary!" he screamed before I grabbed him and drained him of his blood. I dropped him, feeling satisfied. I looked around and saw that I was in a small park. Even though it was later at night, I could see every individual blade of grass.

_"Hello, I'm Alice and this is Jasper," I chirped, motioning from me to my angel. Jasper nodded stiffly. "We've come to join your family."_

_"Oh," a blonde male said. He was shorter than Jasper, and looked about the same age, if not older, than us. He seemed unsure, and his eyes stayed on Jasper. Jasper looked towards me, begging me with his eyes to help him. I sighed. He wasn't comfortable._

_"May we come in?" I asked and the man nodded._

_"Of course," he said and we all walked into his house. Jasper clenched my hand desperately, for he wasn't very good at trusting vampires._

_"So, as I've said before, we have some here to join your family," I said. "We've already started working on the vegetarian diet."_

_"How do you-" the man, Carlisle, started._

_"I have visions of the future," I said. "I saw Jasper and me traveling to find your family and join it."_

'Visions of the future'? Was that what I just had? Surely it couldn't be anything else! And what was this _vegetarian diet_ I had spoken of? As if it had heard my questions, a vision with all the answers came to me.

_Jasper and I were running through a forest. We were following something that didn't smell a sixteenth as good as humans did. We ran straight up to the bear and pounced on it to drink its blood._

Once I was brought back to the present, I ran as fast and far away as I could from the human civilization. I had to not _ever_ drink their blood again no matter how much I wanted to. The vision had told me that Jasper wasn't very good at sticking to the diet. I had to be his role model and help him make the transition. Accidentally eating a passerby wouldn't exactly give Jasper the right idea. I was a few miles out of the town now and I slowed to a stop. It surprised me that I wasn't tired yet, though I had no idea as to why I was so shocked. I have always been a . . . a . . . what was I?

I wracked my brain and tried to remember. I knew what I had hunted were humans so that made me a . . . vampire? That rung a bell. I remembered all the tales I was told of them, but I have no memory of _being_ told them. How could I know so much when I was just born a few hours ago?

Vampires were evil creatures with fangs and capes. I looked down and saw that I was wearing a tattered nightgown-looking item of clothing. I opened my mouth and felt my teeth. Nope, no fangs whatsoever. And I was pretty sure I wasn't evil, and neither was Jasper. Was Jasper a vampire? He certainly looked human . . . except for his paleness and deep red eyes. What did I even look like?

I felt my face. It was very smooth with regular features that were found on anyone. My hands found my hair. It was very, _very_ short. I thought girls were supposed to have long hair. Was I a girl? I felt my body and nodded. I had all the right body parts to be a girl. The question was why was my hair so short? I guess I was just born that way. Was I even born? Birth was coming out of your mother. As far as I knew, I wasn't born exactly. Maybe more like made. So, that meant I was not human, but I couldn't be a vampire. I didn't qualify as one.

_I was standing in a grocery store. Just standing and staring intently at the door. I was focusing so hard that I hardly put on a human façade. There were sunglasses over my eyes. Soon enough, a familiar handsome man entered the store and I walked up to him so we could travel to find the Cullens._

I was going to meet Jasper? The visions had given me so much information; it was hard to keep track of it. I was a vampire, but I was different than the stories I had been 'told'. I was going to fall in love with Jasper and we would one day get happily married. He was my soul mate. I had to meet him. My vision had also told me how I was supposed to stick to the diet and hide my red eyes. One day, I'd have gold eyes like I had seen on Carlisle.

Where was a bear? I needed to start my diet now.

_Twenty-eight years later . . ._

I smoothed out my blouse as I sat down on the park bench in the park Jasper was supposed to come through. My foot tapped in an elaborate rhythm as I observed the scenery around me. Not many people were out and about seeing as it was supposed to rain soon. I could only come out during cloudy days or night because I would sparkle. It was strange, but I did like it when my skin glittered. When sunlight had first fallen onto my skin, I was terrified because vampires were supposed to die if sunlight ever hit them. All I did was sparkle, something harmless, though it could attract attention to me.

_Twenty-eight years, three days, five hours, and fourteen seconds._ That's how long I had been waiting for Jasper to arrive and I would wait twenty more years for him. At times I'd get a little impatient-who doesn't?-but I would always remind myself of why I was waiting and my patience would rise.

_Jasper had changed his mind. He wasn't going through the park anymore-it would cause him to attack someone; something he refused to do. Instead, he'd go around the city and head off towards a small diner._

"Ugh," I grunted in frustration. Why wouldn't that boy just make up his mind for once and stop changing his mind? I stood up from the bench reluctantly. Should I even go to this diner in Philadelphia? I mean, he's just going to change his mind and make me drag my feet to a different city. Something in the back of my mind told me that it was his path was not a lie, and if I didn't go there I'd miss him and I'd be sorry. I walked out of the park and left the city in a hurry, running at vampire speed when there was no population around.

I swirled back and forth on the bar stool as I waited for the waitress to bring me some scrambled eggs and toast. It was the third cloudy day here in Pennsylvania and Jasper's path was getting clearer and clearer. I hoped that he'd come this time. Did he know that I was waiting for him? Probably not, unless he was some sort of psychic, too and was just teasing me by changing his course all the time. Surely that wasn't plausible. I drummed my fingers and hummed one of the songs I had heard when I passed by a dance hall.

"Here ya go, Miss Alice," the waitress smiled and handed me a heaping plate of food that nearly made me throw up. Vampires weren't supposed to get sick, either. "Now, honey, are ya sure this boy's really worth it? You've been waitin' for three days and he hasn't come."

"He's definitely worth it," I said. "May I please have some coffee?"

"Be right back with it, doll," she said and hurried back into the kitchen. I bit my lip. Surely he would come today, why would he not? There was a knot in my stomach as I thought about whether he would like me or not. Normally, I was very confident in myself, but I knew that Jasper would come today and I was super panicked. My hands ran nervously down my dress and I tried to look at something reflective to see if my hair was all right. Nothing.

_Alice, it's just Jasper,_ I told myself. _You two will one day be happily married so quit your worrying._ I took a deep breath and smiled when my waitress, Ester, came back with my coffee.

"Here ya go," she said simply and walked off to greet some new customers. Thunder cracked and rain started to pour down. I cheered inside my head and stared intently at the door. I took a quick peek to assure myself that he was still coming . . . yep. His path was clearer than any other vision I had ever had. This was it. He was coming. The rain poured down more violently and people rushed into the restaurant to take cover. After most of the commotion, the door knob turned. After twenty-eight years, six days, three hours, nine minutes, and twenty seconds of searching, I had found him.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope I pleased everyone! No flames! Please leave me a nice little review, though.  
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**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	2. Chapter 2: Hope

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you to my two reviewers. You're reviews mean the world to me and I am glad you left me a lil' note. :D You guys make me smile! Oh, and thanks to anyone who also put this story on story-alert! Also, thanks to my beta, Shasta53 over at twilighted(dot)net. All of you are great! Here's chapter 2!**

**_Disclaimer: None of this you recognize is mine. I own nothing.  
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No you don't know what it's like**__**  
**__**When nothing feels all right**__**  
**__**You don't know what it's like**__**  
**__**To be like me**___

___**To be hurt**__**  
**__**To feel lost**__**  
**__**To be left out in the dark**__**  
**__**To be kicked when you're down**__**  
**__**To feel like you've been pushed around**__**  
**__**To be on the edge of breaking down**__**  
**__**And no one's there to save you **__**  
**__**No you don't know what it's like**__**  
**__**Welcome to my life**_

_**Simple Plan, Welcome to My Life**_

Chapter Two: Hope

Jasper POV

"I'm heading out to recruit more newborns," Maria said and I nodded stiffly. "The next war is going to be a tough one so we need the strongest vampires. Kill the newborns reaching nine months or more. They're too weak now. And, Jasper-" I gulped as her voice lowered into a deep snarl. "if there are any reports of you letting some . . . what did you call it? Ah, sí, _slip_. If as much as half of a newborn slips away from your grasp again, your punishment will be terrible. Am I clear?"

I shuddered and subconsciously rubbed my left arm and torso, remembering my punishment for letting Peter and Charlotte run away. That was quite a while ago, but Maria hadn't trusted me since. This was the first time in a while I had been in charge of the newborn vampires. I guess I was moving up in the ranks again.

"Pay attention, Jasper," Maria hissed. "Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said. Maria ran her hands up my body and snaked her fingers into my hair, pulling me toward her and forcing me to kiss her. It was my only choice to kiss her back, for I had learned to give into whatever she wanted the hard way. When she was done, Maria ran off and I felt disgusted with myself. She didn't love me-or even like me for that matter-and I knew it. All she wanted me was for my body and my battle skills. There were three other gentlemen that were also used like me and they had convinced themselves that she actually liked them. I sighed and walked over to where we kept the newborns. Fear emanated off of them as I approached.

"You shall all do as I say or you shall be severely punished," I growled to the newborns. "All vampires over nine months, follow me for fight training. Anyone younger, feel free to grab a snack with John, William, or Thomas. Do not go alone. I will know if you do."

The newborns trembled and they lined up for "fight training". I marched them up a hill, far away from the other vampires and spun around to face them, eyeing each one skeptically. Who would be my first victim?

"You," I snapped out, pointing to a red haired girl who trembled. "Congratulations, you're first."

Her breathing grew rapid and all of the other vampires started to realize what was going on. Oh great. My jaw clenched as I growled to all five of them.

"No one leaves alive," I growled. "Or you will have to face the wrath of Maria."

That's when they turned on me, all of them jumping and leaping onto my body. They sunk their teeth into me and tried to pin me, but I had more experience than them. I grabbed the red head's jaw and snapped it off, causing the other vampires to cry out in shock. I took advantage of their momentary distraction and kicked a few off of me, while ripping some arms off the others. The newborns all attacked me once again before I jumped out of their grasps. They growled and snarled as they pursued me before I wheeled around and took the heads off of three of them. This wasn't a challenge whatsoever; just a simple fighting exercise. I took the legs off a few others before continuing disembodying them. They should've known none of them would be a match for Major Jasper Whitlock.

I quickly grabbed all the pieces and set fire to them, feeling triumphant and guilty as I stared into the fire. Pain crashed through me as I reflected on the nightmare I had been living for far too long to count. I had to go through on my plan tonight, when Maria returned. I had to kill her, to stop this madness. These newborns were just a warm up for what I had coming at me tonight and I shuddered to think about the long battle. I heard a rustle in a bush behind me. I wheeled around, startled, and crouched down. I sent out a warning growl before Peter walked out of the bushes with his hands raised in front of him.

"I mean no harm," he said and I immediately relaxed.

"Peter?" I questioned before growling. "_Peter!_" I tried to get my arms around him to kill him before he stepped out of the way and pinned my hands behind my back. I tried to break free of his grasp, but he was stronger than me.

"Good grief, Jasper," Peter said from behind me, causing my head to turn backwards and glare at him sideways. "This is the welcome I get?"

"You caused me to have the worst punishment possible because you left," I growled and lunged toward him, but Peter was ready for that. He sidestepped me, still keeping his grip firm.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't let you kill Char," Peter said and I growled at his use of a nickname for someone who had caused me terrible pain. "Don't you know what it's like to not want someone to die ever? To love someone?"

"No," I growled. "Love is for humans, not vampires."

"Jasper," Peter said, frowning. "In the north, it's possible. Vampires get along up there and there are no fights over feeding territory."

"You're bluffing," I said, ignoring the fact I felt honesty emanating from Peter.

"No, I'm not," he said. "Charlotte and I were shocked, too, but it's a life of luxury. So peaceful . . ." Peter trailed off, his eyes staring off into the distance before I cleared my throat. He shook out of it. "We had been running around, always feeding and moving in peace. It was only a few days ago that Charlotte mentioned you and we both agreed to come get you. Charlotte's a little more north because she doesn't want to mix in with these vampires."

"Really?" I still couldn't understand. Peace between vampires? When pigs fly! Something told me that Peter was telling the truth and I wasn't just imagining it. Maybe that's what would save me from this depression. I had to go with him.

"Do you want to come with us?" Peter asked and I nodded before thinking anything of it. I had to leave-I was already hoping to kill Maria anyway and this would just be a better, _safer_ way to go about things. "Let us go." Peter said, letting my hands fall to my sides and running off north. I followed him, easily keeping pace.

We didn't talk much while we ran, both of us engulfed in our thoughts. I kept on thinking of what would happen if Maria found me when she got to me. There were thousands of options and probably all of them combined would be a small scratch compared to the punishment Maria would give me. She'd probably give me some sort of slow and painful death. I shuddered and tried to think of other things, such as running away from my nightmarish life towards a new one. A happier life. Hopefully.

Peter slowed to a stop and we were in front of a red haired woman. I recognized her instantly: Charlotte. She gave me a small smile before running up to Peter and giving him a kiss. The love between them was shocking, for I had never felt anything like it before. I closed my eyes, trying to focus. Vampires weren't supposed to be _in_ love. No, the only emotion vampires should have is hate towards each other. I sighed and opened my eyes, staring back at Peter and Charlotte who had their arms around each other.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just . . . don't understand."

"Don't understand what, Jasper?" Charlotte asked, her voice like bells. She seemed really nice, but was afraid of me because I _had_ tried to kill her.

"Everything," I muttered before sitting down. Normally, when I was with Maria's army, things would distract me from my depression, but not here. There was too much freedom and strange changes happening. My mind couldn't take it. Charlotte smiled sympathetically at me.

"Everything will change, Jasper," she said. "Don't worry about it. This new life is a great life. You'll be much happier here." I sure hope she was right on that.

_Ten years later . . ._

I couldn't even describe what I was feeling right now. It was like living through death. And not just a peaceful death, but one full of pain and torment. Pain, terror, torment, horror, and the incredibly scary feeling of death-nothing-wracked through my body, causing me to wonder. I was only killing a human, was that something wrong? People killed animals to eat and they weren't this tortured. Why was I being punished? I set the body down before disposing of it and heading back to Peter and Charlotte. We had grown closer over the years, but I could tell I wasn't wanted here. I put them in such bad moods whenever I was around that they tried to avoid me.

"Hey," I said glumly when I reached my friends. They stared at me with sympathy as I sighed and sat on a nearby log in the forest, burying my face in my hands. The emotions I had obtained from killing people were still bouncing around in my body. I laid down, hoping they would stop. I wanted to kill myself for this. I had done so many wrong things in my life that I did deserve whatever curse had been set upon me. Maybe, if I asked, Peter and Charlotte would kill me. I easily got my way.

"Jasper," Peter started and sat down near me. "I have a theory I'd like to tell you."

"Be my guest," I said, my voice sounding dead even to me.

"Well, I've noticed your depression gets much worse after you've hunted," Peter drawled. Hunting . . . I trembled at the memories of killing people. They had terrible deaths and I felt each and every one of them.

"I think you have a gift," Peter said and I scoffed. There was no way this . . . _thing_ was a gift. "A gift that has something to do with pain or feeling things others are feeling.

"Really?" I asked. That seemed to fit me very well, though it wasn't just pain I felt. I told Peter so.

"Hmm . . ." Peter mused, going into deep thought. Then he snapped his fingers. "You can feel and change emotions of others, or something on that line. I always feel some of your pain when you're done huntin'. I figured that was just me being a good friend. Guess I was wrong."

So he felt my pain? That sentence killed anything that was left living inside of me, which wasn't much. I _really_ wasn't worthy of my friends and what Peter had just said was a confirmation of my assumption.

I said, "I can't stay with you two anymore. I have to go on my own."

"You don't have to do that for us-" Peter started but I held up one of my hands, standing up.

"I now know how I affect you. It will be easier this way," I said. "Maybe I'll feel better if I'm alone." I knew that was untrue, but he wouldn't let me go if I told him that.

"If you must," Peter sighed.

"Jasper, you should know that we'll always be here for you if you need us," Charlotte said. "You're not intruding if you want to come and travel with us again."

"Thank you, Charlotte," I nodded to Peter and left, wishing I'd find a better life or a way to kill myself.

_Twenty-eight years later . . ._

Today was the day I'd go into town to try to get stronger and forget my thirst. I had to do this if I was never going to hunt people again. It's been nearly thirty years since I had left Peter and Charlotte and, as I had predicted, my depression didn't go away. It got worse. I sighed and walked into the town of Philadelphia. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them so I didn't have to conceal them with sunglasses.

I held my breath and clenched my fists.

_Come on, Whitlock,_ I told myself. _You have to earn it. Don't kill anyone and you'll soon be able to not have to kill a human again._ Ha, like that would happen.

A drop landed on my head and I realized it was starting to rain. Great, wet humans smelled even more scrumptious than dry ones. The rain continued to fall harder and harder and people rushed past me to get into shelter. I sighed as I realized I'd have to go inside somewhere if I wanted to stay inconspicuous. I looked around and decided the diner was the emptiest building and I stepped inside, holding my breath again. I started to dry my clothes off before I stiffened. There was a vampire here.

She hopped down from the stool, smiling and walked up to me. She was absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than our kind. I tensed as she approached; worried that she was going to attack me. This was the north, would she attack me? I didn't know.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," she said, in a voice more musical and soothing than wind chimes. I ducked my head, realizing I had disappointed this young woman even though I had never met her in my life until today.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said, wasting my oxygen supply. She held out her hand and I took it, shocked that I would do that. I didn't like touch much. But something had made me want to touch her, something about her emotions that made me feel strange towards her. What was this alien feeling I had never felt? I wracked my brain before realizing what it was. Hope.

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**A/N: Some of you may know that I broke my pinky, so updates might be slower than I want them to be. I also sprained my back spiking a volleyball, so now I'm in a giant back brace as well. Leaving a review will make me feel better!  
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**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	3. Chapter 3:First Conversations

**A/N: So, June 14th's my birthday (I'm turnin' 16!) and I would love it if any of you who read this chapter to give me a birthday review! (I accept anonymous reviews, too.) Oh, and if you want to see the lovely banner FrozenSoldier (Lonely-Soldier on ) over on Twilighted made me, just go to this link (take out the spaces, though):**

http:/i969. photobucket. com/albums/ae175/Twivamp/ SerenityBanner. jpg?t=1276220573

**It says it was by Twivamp because that's my penname over on Twilighted. Give her a big round of applause for her amazing work! *cheers* Okay, on with the story...**

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize in here is mine. I own nothing.  
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I've been searching a long time**__**  
**__**For someone exactly like you**__**  
**__**I've been traveling all around the world**__**  
**__**Waiting for you to come through.**__**  
**__**Someone like you makes it**__**  
**__**All worth while**__**  
**__**Someone like you keeps**__**  
**__**Me satisfied. Someone exactly**__**  
**__**Like you.**__**  
**__**I've been travellin' a hard road**__**  
**__**Lookin' for someone exactly like you**__**  
**__**I've been carryin' my heavy load**__**  
**__**Waiting for the light to come**__**  
**__**Shining through.**__**  
**__**Someone like you makes it**__**  
**__**All worth while**__**  
**__**Someone like you keeps**__**  
**__**Me satisfied. Someone exactly**__**  
**__**Like you.**_

_**-Van Morrison, Someone Like You**_

Chapter Three: First Conversations

Alice POV

He was in my hands! Jasper Whitlock was _in my hands_! It took all my self-control not to embrace him in a hug. That would cause him to run for the hills, so I just smiled real big. Jasper was exceptionally quiet as I towed him around. I had always travelled by nightfall in the forest so I naturally led him towards the woods. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. What was I going to say to him? From my visions, I knew Jasper was very skittish because of his terrible past, though I didn't know what his past included. I'm sure, _Hi, I'm Alice and I've been stalking you for the past twenty-eight years because we're soul mates, _would scare him to death. I wracked my brain, thinking of _something_ to tell the boy.

It took around five minutes, but I found the forest and led Jasper deep into it. Then we just stared at each other; me in awe and Jasper in confusion. Jasper looked so overwhelmed with everything, I felt sorry for him. "Why did you take me here?" he finally asked in a voice that made me melt. It was so much different to be experiencing this in person than in a vision!

"Oh," I said and wracked my brain. I was going to have to tell him about my visions this early? I just hoped it wouldn't scare him too much. "Well, you see, I have visions of the future. The future is not certain, though. Anything can change it."

"Really?" Jasper looked at me. "So, you saw that you'd bring me to the forest. How do you know me? I'm sure I've never met you before."

"Well," I said, deciding on telling him about the Cullens. "I saw you in a vision before I opened my eyes and killed a few people. Then I realized that I was a vampire and a vision of you came upon me again. This time, we were at this house, a house of vampires. They all lived together as a family-"

Jasper scoffed, dubious.

I said, "We can live in peace and as a family. You see, Carlisle is the leader of the group, sort of like a father to the rest. He is with Esme, who acts like the mother of the group. Her favorite 'son'"-I used my fingers and made air quotations-"is Edward. Edward likes the piano but has no mate. I think that's why he's pretty sad a lot of the time. He has no one to love. There's Emmett as well and he's huge. You'll like him . . . that is if you wish to come. He's with Rosalie who can be pretty cranky, but is a nice person when you get to know her."

Jasper looked overwhelmed by all this information.

"So . . . you saw me traveling with you to this family who will accept us?" he finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yep," I said. "They will treat us as if we'd been part of their family for a long time."

"I don't know . . ." Jasper shook his head.

"If you don't mind me suggesting something, this family is very nice and won't cause you any harm," I shrugged. "I know you've had some tough times, but these people will make us have a place where we belong."

"We really will be at home there?" Jasper looked skeptical.

"Yes, Jasper," I said.

"How did you-oh," Jasper said. "Psychic, right."

"Yep," I said. "I know a lot about you, Jasper Whitlock." Shoot! That probably scared him to death. He gave me a strange look before speaking again.

"May I know your name?" he asked shyly, as if he were afraid I would hurt him if he asked things about me.

"Sure," I said. "My name is Alice."

"Alice," he breathed out and I tingled all over when I heard him say my name. It sounded lovely in his voice. "That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you," I said. "Well, you technically gave it to me."

"What?" Jasper asked, becoming bewildered yet again.

"I didn't know what my name was, but I had a vision of you saying my name and I kept it," I said.

"Oh," Jasper said simply. I decided to ask the question that was rattling around in my mouth, begging to be let loose.

"So, do you want to come with me to the Cullens?" I asked. Jasper bit his lip, unsure.

"I guess," he shrugged. "If you go, I'll go."

I smiled at that.

"Okay, so I didn't mention something about the Cullens," I said, resisting the large urge to smack my forehead into my palm at my stupidity. He probably thought I purposely left something out so he would agree to come with me to them. Jasper visibly held his breath and waited for me to continue. "They're what they like to call, _vegetarians_, which means they don't eat humans."

"What do they eat, then?" Jasper asked, his eyebrows creasing together in confusion.

"Animals," I said simply. "I am a vegetarian as well, that's why my eyes are a different color than yours."

"I was wondering that," Jasper muttered.

"Of course, animals don't taste as good as humans, but they do keep us fed," I said. Jasper's lips curled up a little at the edges, smiling. It was so amazing to see him smile, even if it was just a little one, and it knocked my breath out of my lungs when I saw it. His smile was intoxicating and I had to smile back, I practically felt _his_ gratitude as we smiled at each other.

"Animals," Jasper finally breathed out, shaking his head. "I'd never thought of that. Do you mind if I joined you in the diet?"

His question made me chuckle. It would take him a _while_ until he made a decision for himself and he wouldn't really resist whatever I decided for him.

"Of course, silly," I said and stood up. "I can see you're hungry, so, would you be so kind as to accompany me on my hunt?"

Jasper's eyes were a little guarded as he deliberated my offer. I slowly held my hand out, moving so I wouldn't frighten him, and faced my hand palm up.

"If you wish for me to," Jasper said after a while and stood up, gently taking my hand. I ran with Jasper keeping pace with me, though I could tell he was much faster than me because his stride was longer than mine. I took a quick peek into the future to see where a good hunting spot would be without humans. There was one a few yards away and I got there within seconds. I pulled up to a stop, Jasper stopping a few steps in front of me.

"The key is to be quiet and pounce nearly instantly," I said. "You'll get a little messy, trust me."

Jasper just nodded as we approached the three unsuspecting bears. You could smell their unappetizing scent from here and I saw Jasper grimace. I sighed and decided to be an example and show him it's not _that_ bad.

I pounced on top of the bear and it growled out in surprise. My mouth expertly crushed into the bear's neck and slurped up the warm blood that had a slight sour taste about it. I had the bear completely drained in around fifteen seconds flat and saw Jasper continuing to drink. There was some blood on his shirt, as well as small little holes. Through the holes I could see scars that matched the ones on his hands. What happened to him? By the looks of it, I could only guess he'd been ripped and torn by some sort of sharp blade. I thought our skin was impenetrable, though. Jasper finished the rest of the bear, looking like he was completely sick.

He walked up to me; disgust was practically a fog surrounding him. I gave him a sheepish smile and he sat near me and the carcass of my prey. He sighed.

"So . . . how was your hunt?" I asked, worried that he wasn't going to stick to the diet. Maybe I should've weaned him off of human blood, but I had to go with him cutting cold turkey. How careless was I?

"Okay," Jasper allowed, keeping his mouth clamped shut as if he were going to throw up.

"It only takes time," I said. "Trust me, when I first started on the diet, I hated it. But I never allowed myself to quit . . . y-you kept me going on it."

Jasper stared into my eyes, another tiny smile tugging at his lips. I stared back, getting lost in his red eyes that were only the slightest bit orange. No human could tell that, though. It felt like only seconds, but it could've been hours that we just stared in each other's eyes. Jasper finally broke it, looking at the ground beneath us, biting his lip.

"I'm glad I could be such an influence to you, Miss Alice," he drawled, looking shy. I, on the other hand, was soaring through the sky with happiness. I didn't even bother to tell him to call me Alice-I knew that was a lost cause for a while. "But, I believe I'm not the man you want to be travelin' with. I-I'm not good."

"You _are_ good, Jasper," I said. "You just haven't realized that yet."

Jasper sighed and looked me in the eyes again. His face revealed that same incredulous look he had given me a lot when I had told him new things. It took all my restraint not to roll my eyes. He would be in this whole "I'm evil" phase for a while. I studied the rest of his face, something I hadn't gotten to do very intently yet. Even on his face, there were scars, all in feathery patterns and colored glowing silver. Was that blood? Like humans had red blood that clotted and turned into scabs, we vampires had silver blood pumping through our system? I didn't have a heart rate so that couldn't be the possibility. Jasper had a lot of blood covering his chin and it made me want to wipe it off. I naturally moved my hand out towards his face, but Jasper disappeared all of the sudden. He was standing about five feet away from me, looking at me like I was some creepy creature.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, totally shocked. I wanted to kick myself again because I knew I had to be slow with him. Darn it, Alice, why do you let your guard down once and screw everything up? "Y-You had a little blood . . ."

"No, I'm sorry," Jasper said, walking back. He seemed a little embarrassed with his actions. I just shook it off; he'd tell me his past when he was good and ready. Since I had him, I was ready to wait another twenty-eight years for him to open up to me. He sat down in front of me, and I decided to get back to what I was planning to do. He had to get used to touch and this was going to be his first lesson. I sort of wished we'd start somewhere not as sensitive as his face, but when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

This time, I moved so slow a human would get frustrated by my speed. Jasper had tensed up and closed his eyes, waiting for me to touch him. I finally reached his chin and gently used my thumb to wipe all the blood off. Jasper sighed a little when I was done, and had a strange look in his eyes. He looked almost like he was enjoying something. I wiped the blood off on the forest floor, letting the dirt take off the stain the blood would leave.

"Thank you," Jasper said and I stared into his eyes yet again.

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**A/N: So, remember, it's my birthday tomorrow (or today...or yesterday...or three years ago, depending on when you read this). Please be nice and give me a lil' review! Just saying...there have been 198 people who have read this story...and only five people who have reviewed. Hmm...  
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**In one last desperate attempt to get you to give up thirty seconds of your life to leave me even a one-worded review, PLEASE! :P  
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**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	4. Chapter 4: Forgotten Human Life

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out here. I had some trouble uploading it to my other story on a different site and it's still not up. Gah! I'm just going to post it here to keep you, my dear and lovely reader, from waiting so long. Read on!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in here is mine.  
**

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"_**I, I saw you there, wanted you there  
I, I knew that it was best for me  
You brought me back to that place in my heart  
I thought was gone, oh so long  
I was unhappy now it's gone  
And I'm moving on, moving on  
I'm moving on**_

_**I went for so long  
And I was so wrong  
And then I met you  
And now I can't live without you  
And I don't want to  
I've done that all my life up till now"**_

_**-Eisley, Combinations**_

**Chapter Four: Forgotten Human Life**

**Jasper POV**

Alice smiled at me before standing up. I tensed at her sudden movement, but soon realized she wasn't going to attack. I stood up and looked down at her face.

"We should get on the move," Alice said in a voice that absolutely made my innards melt. I had no idea what type of a spell this woman had cast on me, but I sort of enjoyed it. Her emotions were so wonderful and made me feel nicer than I had ever felt before. I drank them up hungrily. "We have to catch up to the Cullens in Ohio."

With that, she pranced off in one direction and I followed, matching her pace exactly.

"So, where did you wake up?" Alice asked casually as the forest flew past us.

"Pardon?" I asked, not sure what in the world she meant by 'wake up'. I wasn't really sure I wanted to know, either.

"You know, when you first woke up and found out that you were a vampire," Alice explained, gesturing here and there with her hands. The movement made me tense and she stopped instantly, smiling apologetically. I gritted my teeth, I shouldn't be showing her weakness. I couldn't trust her.

"I never woke up," I said. "I was changed and awake the whole three days of the transformation."

"Transformation?" Alice questioned, cocking her head to one side. "I was born, or brought into the world, as a vampire. Never transformed."

Never in my life had I heard such an absurd statement. Vampires were always transformed, never born.

"Miss Alice, I believe you are mistaken," I said. "We vampires are humans before another vampire bites you and changes you into one, if you're unlucky." I was one of the many unlucky people who just _had_ to be changed into a vampire and be eternally cursed for your evil acts. "It's the only way vampires can be made."

Alice was confused. Her eyebrows creased together and her full lips set into a pout.

"I could've sworn…" she whispered so low I could hardly hear her. "Are you sure?"

"I helped a vampire create millions for a while," I said, my mind being clouded with the dark and terrifying thoughts and memories of my past. "I am positive."

Her face fell even more and I warily searched her emotions for hints of anger. Surely, I had caused her so much pain that she would punish me for it. There were no signs of anger at all so I felt it safe to think about the subject. I scanned through our previous conversations in my mind.

"You forgot," I said, recalling her saying she didn't remember her name. "You forgot your entire human life."

"I was human once?" Alice gasped. "But…but…I don't understand….How could I forget everything?"

The pain was so unbearable I had to change her emotions. I willed a wave of calm to wash over her and she gasped.

"What just happened?" she asked and faced me, eyes full of wonder. "Did you do that?"

Great, I was done for. I shouldn't have done that, I had angered her. Now everything was ruined. I was going to have to run off again and find a way to kill myself because there was no way I would ever stick to that diet without Alice around.

"Uh…" There was no way I'd be able to avoid my punishment now. "Yes," I said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"How did you do that?" Alice asked, her curiosity drowning me.

"I've always been able to do that," I said. "It's like your visions of the future. I can read and control emotions."

"Wow," Alice said, a smile breaking across her face. She had forgotten about forgetting her past human life completely now. "That's neat."

"I have to disagree," I said and she eyed me curiously. "Whenever you kill a human, you relive their death. It's very, _very_ painful."

"I still think it's pretty nifty," Alice said. She seemed careful about choosing her next words "And now that you're a vegetarian, you don't have to worry about reliving peoples' deaths."

_Yeah, but I still feel people's depression, hate, and jealousy_, I said silently. I stopped my calm front that I had been giving Alice and she was back to her depressing attitude, remembering how she forgot everything.

"Do…do you remember?" Alice asked. "I mean, do you remember your human life?"

"I do," I said. "I was Major Jasper Whitlock in the Civil War. I was a Confederate who was changed in October of 1862." Alice looked at me expectantly, as if hoping to hear more of my past. I wasn't sure if I was very comfortable with reliving it yet and I'm sure I'd scare her away if I told her even an edited version of my past. "Your creator didn't stay with you?" I asked, hoping to get away from the topic of my past.

"I don't remember," Alice said, her face crumpling into a heartbreaking expression full of pain and torture. Well, it would be heartbreaking to me if I had a heart, which I surely didn't based on my past acts. "I woke up all alone."

Now, why would a creator just leave another vampire? Surely, they knew about the Volturi. You can't just leave a newborn on its own because it would kill the whole town and the Volturi would kill it instantly, not even bothering for an explanation of its actions. If the creator had intentions of killing her, why didn't he just suck her dry? Once the thought of something drinking a human Alice's blood crossed my mind, I shook it off. How could I think that sadistically?

"I forgot my family," Alice said. "If I had a family. I'm sure I did, and I'm sure they loved me dearly. Did my creator hit me on the head or something and made me forget everything? But, I remembered everything I had learned, such as arithmetic and old myths. Or are you just born with those? Humans go to school, though. Why did I forget my family? How could I forget my whole life?"

With that shouted question, she crumpled to the floor, the pain emanating from her nearly knocking me off my feet. I jumped back in surprise; worried she was diving to hurt me because I had caused her this pain. I stared at her wide eyed. What the heck was going on? Alice didn't seem to notice that I was there as she started to sob. She was having some sort of emotional breakdown because of not remembering her past life. I, personally, would be crying with joy if I got to forget life in the Civil War, which was a terrible time, and how I had 'abandoned' my soldiers by being bitten.

"Remember….remember _something_…anything," Alice was muttering to herself, curling up into the fetal position.

"Miss Alice," I started, approaching her slowly, not sure if she was angry with me or not. "Are you okay?" Her terribly sad eyes locked on mine. We stayed there for a while, before Alice sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said, sobbing only slightly. "I…I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to remember. I have forgotten everything: everyone who loved me, everyone who hated me. I've forgotten myself. Learning that right now was just a lot to take in. I'm sorry."

"I should be the one who's sorry," I said, deciding to remind her that I was the one who caused her the pain; probably earning me a beating of some sort. "I brought it up and caused you to do that. I should never have-"

"No!" Alice shouted and I flinched, stepping into a crouch just in case of a surprise attack. "I'm sorry. I needed to know that. I should be thanking you."

I straightened, still unsure of what she was going to do. She bit her lip before continuing on running the other direction. I followed her, still confused. We ran in silence for a while.

"You don't remember a thing?" I asked awkwardly.

"Not a single thing," she whispered, shaking her head. "Does this mean I have some form of amnesia?"

"I guess," I said. "You do know who the president is right now, correct?"

"Yep, Harry Truman," she said. "I just don't remember my life-I only know the facts and fiction I had been taught."

"How odd," I commented, hoping I hadn't offended her. "I mean…your condition, not you."

Alice giggled.

"I know you don't think I'm odd," Alice said, seeming like she was choosing her words carefully though she talked in her usual fast pace. Her laugh was something I loved because it not only made me feel her happiness but it was also the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. It made me smile. It was a small smile, but it was still a smile. What was this girl doing to me?

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**Hit or miss? Please review! If I don't get a lot of reviews, I have a new trick up my sleeve to reel you guys in! Bwahahaha!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Human Training

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for this update! My beta's on vacation and I am loosing patience (no offense, Shasta53, I'm just that way). So, read on!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in here you recognize is mine.  
**

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"_**You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear  
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier  
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas  
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe**_

_**I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact  
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass  
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky  
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise"**_

_**-The Hush Sound, You are the Moon**_

**Chapter Five: Human Training**

**Alice POV**

"I know you don't think I'm odd," I said, making sure not to say that I knew what other forms of feelings he'd feel for me in the future. Jasper smiled at me as I laughed. This smile met the eyes this time and I felt myself almost get hypnotized by them. He looked amazing when he looked happy. "So, the Cullens are in Ohio. We've got a lot of traveling to do, but sometimes we'll have to sit in the forest because it's too sunny to go anywhere. The first thing I think we should do is get you some sunglasses while it is still cloudy around here."

A small crease formed between Jasper's eyebrows as he nodded stiffly. His eyes would surely send humans running, and if I was going to have him slowly get used to being around humans, adrenaline and fear pumping through their systems would be a counteracting factor. Overindulging with blood was the best option than having to tackle him down and try to keep him pinned when you're over a foot shorter than him. No doubt at least fifty pounds lighter, too.

"Ready to go?" I asked, cocking my head and slowly holding my hand out to him. He nodded and took it. I broke into a fast sprint that only lasted half a minute before we hit the next town. We had to slow to a human-paced walk. We walked around the next town. I was smiling at everyone I passed while Jasper ducked his head and used his long, messy blonde hair to shield his eyes from everyone. His hand was grabbing my hand as if it was life itself and I felt some of his bumpier scars gouging into my skin.

I snuck a peak at Jasper. He wasn't breathing and his eyes practically bulged out of his sockets as he tried to ignore the humans' scent. At least he'd get sunglasses to at least not attract _more_ attention to him with that look he was wearing.

As I looked at him, another, more self-conscious, thought wandered into my mind. Did he and I _look_ like soul mates? By height, you would think he was my father and I was his ten year old daughter, though we didn't look alike. Jasper could easily pick me up probably with one hand and spin me around like a brother would do to his little sister. Would he think of me like that? As just a sister? Would my visions suddenly just slap me in the face and yell, "GOTCHA," and say that I was only dreaming Jasper and I were soul mates?

I saw a store that had sunglasses and pulled Jasper into it. Heading towards where I knew the sunglasses were. Jasper followed obediently and studied all the sunglasses, his face hidden to the other customers in the store. He grabbed the ones that were cheapest and nodded. I was thankful, because money wasn't something that came in the nomadic vampire package.

I smiled at him and took the sunglasses up to the cashier.

"I'd like to purchase these, please," I said and set them on the counter.

"Alright-y then," he said smiling a smile that made his eyes crinkle up. He ran a hand through his grey, balding hair and told me the amount. I grabbed some money out of the small pack I carried with me and gave it to him. "Thank you for your services." He said and I grabbed the sunglasses and led Jasper out the door.

"Thank you," I said, waving to the man. When we were outside, I gave Jasper the sunglasses and he put them on.

"Thank you for buying these for me," he drawled. "I can pay you back."

"No, no," I said, waving my hands and causing Jasper to flinch away from me. People probably thought I was beating him by his reaction. "As long as we're traveling together, we share the same money."

"Okay," he said and we continued to walk through town. I decided to do some window-shopping, wishing I could buy one of those wonderful silk dresses in the stores.

"So, we're going to walk through town today, instead of go around it, and get you more used to the human scent," I said. "Believe me, the more used to it you are, the easier it is to stick to the diet. If it becomes too much, though, feel free to tell me and we can leave."

"Okay," Jasper said again, and I wished he would talk more. Mostly, it was just me babbling on and on about some topic that surely bored Jasper to death. Why couldn't he be verbose? I knew it would take time, but I wanted it to be now. Couldn't he at least maybe tell me a story from being in the Civil War or what he did to get all those scars? I sighed as I stared at yet another gorgeous dress.

I wanted Jasper to be totally honest and not afraid to say anything to me like he was in some of my visions I had of him. Patience is the key to happiness, especially in your case, so stop having a small attention span, Alice!

"Are the Cullens in this town?" Jasper asked as we strolled down the street.

"Nope, we're still in Pennsylvania and they're in Riverside, Ohio," I said, glad that he was finally coming a little bit out of his shell.

"Oh," Jasper commented. We walked in silence some more. I could tell Jasper was probably out of the air he had been holding so I could only talk. As annoying as it was, I didn't want to disturb the silence between us. It didn't seem like silence with Jasper - every moment was worth it when I was with him, even if I didn't get to learn more about him.

It was nearly noon and I had seen that the sun was going to come out of the clouds and I had to rush Jasper out of the city. He gladly followed. We found a deserted area and sat there for a while, discussing things. Well, it was more like me interrogating Jasper for answers he wouldn't give to me on his own.

"So, what's your favorite color?" I asked when he sat down next to me.

"Anythin' but red," he said, folding his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Why?" I asked, curiosity taking advantage of me, as always.

"Reminds me of . . . bad memories, I guess," he muttered, not making eye contact with me. "I don't like silver, either."

"Silver's pretty, though," I said, surprised that we had a lot of differences. Jasper clenched his teeth and rubbed some of the silver colored scars on his hands.

"I have to disagree," he said gravely, looking far out into the horizon. Oh, it was because of his scars. I knew I shouldn't press him about them, but I wanted to _so badly_. I had to bite my tongue to keep me from asking the burning question. It would have to wait until further notice.

"Do you remember your family?" I asked. "From when you were human?" It hurt a bit to think he could remember his human life, but I couldn't. I'm not even sure if Alice is my real name anymore.

"Yes," he said, nodding stiffly. "I had a little sister named Abigail and a father named Jasper. My mother passed away while giving birth to Abigail."

"I'm so sorry," I said, not sure what it felt like to lose a mother or even _have_ a mother, but I sympathized with him all the same.

"It's okay," he said, looking me in the eyes. He had taken his sunglasses off because they annoyed vampire eyes. We could see every little flaw they had. "I don't really remember much about them, anyways."

"Do you think the Cullens will feel like family?" I asked, feeling dizzy like I usually did when I looked into the familiar scarlet eyes.

"I thought you were supposed to be the future-seer," he said, one side of his lips turning up slightly.

"I know, but you remember what family feels like," I said and he nodded.

"I am not sure, to be honest," he said. "I have never heard of family for vampires before, but I never thought I could escape from feeding on humans. Your arrival in my life has seemed to make me start to believe anything is possible."

I had to smile at that. At least I knew I was making an impact on his life. Jasper coughed a little awkwardly, though vampires couldn't cough. I decided to drop the subject. He seemed embarrassed since he had said something personal. He'd be in that phase for about a year before he'd really open up to me. I decided to take the moment he was looking away from me to look at his sparkly skin. It made me smile a little, to think about how tough and strong Jasper looked and find that he sparkled in the sun. There wasn't much sparkling from him and not just because the only places of uncovered skin were his face and hands, but because the scars got in the way. They didn't sparkle, really, but they did glow.

Jasper turned back to look at me and gave me the same look he always did. There was some form of admiration in his eyes as well as confusion. His eyebrows always made a small crease in between them. It seemed like he was trying to figure me out.

"You know, Miss Alice, you're unlike any vampire I've ever met," he said eventually. "You're one of the few who smile or act kind."

"Jasper, there's a lot more vampires like me out there," I said. "The Cullens are some of them, and so are their vegetarian friends up in Alaska. You're one of them, too."

Jasper looked shocked by my statement. Sure, he didn't think he was a smiley person or a kind one at that, but what had he been doing the whole time he was with me? He was very, very kind and overly nice to me since the second we had met and he had smiled three times.

"Why, thank you," he drawled ducking his head and smiled a little bit.

"See? You're smiling right now, silly," I said, having to smile seeing Jasper smile. He smiled just a tad wider; seeming embarrassed and yet tickled pink. He looked up after a while and stared into my eyes, the small little smile still on his lips. This time, his brilliant red eyes showed a little happiness, too. I felt adoration coming off of him in waves and I couldn't be any happier. This was what I had been waiting for.

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**A/N: Hit or miss? Tell me in a review! Come on guys, please review!  
**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6: Shopping

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update. My other version of this story on Twilighted still hasn't even gotten chapter five up because my beta's on vacation. I don't want this one to dawdle too far from the other.**

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here belongs to their rightful owners. I own nothing.  
**

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"_**Falling, yes I am falling,  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again.  
I have never known  
The like of this, I've been alone  
And I have missed things  
And kept out of sight  
But other girls were never quite  
Like this, mmm-mmm-mmm-m'mmm-mmm  
Falling, yes I am falling,  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again"**_

_**-Jim Sturgees, I've Just Seen a Face**_

**Chapter Six: Shopping**

**Jasper POV**

After a few more hours of talking, the sun finally hid itself behind the clouds and we were off again. This time, we stayed away from human civilization and kept to the small streets if any. Alice knew I had had enough of the 'human training' and I couldn't take anymore. The strange feelings were still erupting in me and I couldn't be any more confused. Alice had made me feel _really _good about myself when we were talking, so much that everything in my world stopped spiraling and the sun came out behind the clouds. The golden sun, just like Alice's lovely eyes…_stop it, Whitlock. She wouldn't want you and you don't even want her_. I shook my head slightly, trying to get out of my thoughts as we continued walking. She was holding my hand again, as people passed us by. The touch of her smooth, soft skin against my rough and tough skin was so amazing and I found myself relishing in the touch…until I realized what I was doing.

_Jasper…_ my inner voice growled. _Don't get too close to anyone, especially someone you're weaker than. She's got you in the palm of her hands, falling head over heels for her. I've never seen such a pathetic gentleman in my life! You're supposed to be a Civil War general, not just some little lady's sweetheart!_

What my thoughts told me shocked me. Was I in _love_ with Alice_? I couldn't be. No one like me was supposed to fall in love. I was too awful, too…something! I couldn't be in love! No, I couldn't be! I haven't even gotten to know Alice that much!_ But everything I already knew about her was just wonderful. She was cheerful, happy, and optimistic no matter what you did. She could make you smile even though you hated smiling and she made you oh so happy. She was beautiful, didn't think down on people, and always was polite and charming, as well as sneaky. She was very confident of herself and was never taken by surprise. She always had a lovely smile that made your insides melt even if they were as cold and hard as ice…_What was I thinking? No, no, no, Whitlock! You can't be in love!_ Oh, but she's just the most amazing girl…_STOP!_

"So, I was hoping to get us some new outfits for when we meet the Cullens," Alice said. "Ours are so tattered and torn and yours have blood stains on them."

I looked down at my shirt. It did have a few holes in it and had a few spots of blood here and there. From the smell of it, it was deer.

"Okay," I said slowly. I truly hated shopping, and not just because I was a man, but because the whole being-trapped-inside-a-small-building-with-tons-of-humans-idea didn't help me at all. I felt myself sigh, which wasted my entire oxygen supply and now I couldn't talk unless I wanted to take a breath…that was far too risky. For Alice, the humans, and me. I had no choice, though, because whatever Alice chose, I chose. I hadn't gotten her angry yet so I didn't know if she acted like Maria or…_worse_. I shuddered at the thought of it. Was she just playing the sweetheart card to fool me and lure me into her trap? As much as the Jasper part of me screamed to trust her, I couldn't. Whitlock was inside of me as well, screaming louder and convincing me she was dangerous.

"There'll be a good store coming up soon," Alice announced and I looked around. There seemed to be more humans than there were. This made me nervous and I had no oxygen to tell Alice so. Wait, why would I tell Alice that I was nervous? You never showed your emotions to a person you didn't trust, especially if you were scared. _Get love out of your head, Whitlock. She's dangerous…_Why couldn't I just shoot myself? The war in my head going on about Alice was enough to make any man want to just die and save the bewilderment for someone else.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked, turning around to show me her wonderful golden globes of eyes. They were full of worry and care. It made my still heart feel like it was fluttering. _She's just a good actress…_Whitlock trailed of within me. I nodded to her, trying not to make eye contact behind my sunglasses. She didn't look like she was buying it, but shrugged it off. We were at the store now. Humans were swarming around the place; it seemed like and I heard all of their heart beats.

_Lub dub, lub dub, lub dub, lub dub…_ Venom soaked every surface of my mouth and I clenched Alice's hand like a lifeline. I felt a strange amount of love come from her. Just for the clothes, probably, not me or anything else. My eyes widened. I suspected that her love was straight to me at first. This was getting unhealthy and illogical. I had to stop this. Would running away from Alice be the right thing? Or would it be better to just ignore my own mind? I was getting really frustrated now. Emotions are rebels, especially if they're making you fall for a girl who you are _not_ supposed to fall in love with. They just change to warm and fuzzy feelings when you least want them and make you more confused, especially if you are feeling the same feelings from the girl. I wanted to break something I was so angry at myself. Alice distracted me from my thoughts.

"So, do you mind if we check out the dresses first?" Alice asked, looking at me again. I shook my head. Whatever she wanted, she'd get, as long as it didn't upset her. She smiled and led me over to all the women's clothes. She looked around and found a few dresses in her size before leading me over to the men's clothing. She looked me up once and down and went to the fancier clothing. _Great…_

"What's your size?" she asked, cocking her head to one side and staring at me expectantly. She was so pretty when she did that…Oh, she needed me to answer. Alice giggled a little. I had to get some air to tell her. I took a small one, breathing through my mouth so it wasn't as bad, and had only enough air for the one word: my size of clothing. I quickly told her and swallowed the venom in my mouth. She nodded and grabbed many shirts and pants in my sizes. "Try these on?" she said it like a question, as if giving me options. That's what Maria used to do, just to make me confused, choose the wrong one, and get punished.

I nodded, deciding she wanted me to and she handed me the clothes. I looked around and located the changing room. She went to one as well. I got in and tried the clothes on. Never in my vampire life had I dressed this nicely. I wasn't sure if I liked them or not, but Alice had chosen them, and I'd wear them. I put my old clothes and sunglasses on and didn't see Alice anywhere. I waited for her, both sides of my head arguing again. _See, she doesn't like you-she left! And all she had to do was ask you to try on some clothes. How pathetic! _No, she's just changing and trying on dresses. Alice appeared beside me and took my clothes.

We split the amount of money and each paid for half of our clothes. It was a lot, so my pocket was pretty empty afterward. Being a nomadic vampire was hard on your money, though I hadn't been raised to buy things. Everything I needed was humans and I'd steal occasional clothes, either off my prey or from a store whose owner I had just eaten. Alice held the clothes in a bag and went towards the restrooms.

"Let's get changed," Alice said. "I can't stand another minute in these dirty clothes. Just throw your other clothes in the trash." She gave me an outfit and I went into the men's restroom. I changed in one of the stalls and threw the old clothes in the trash, just as Alice had asked. I walked out and saw Alice waiting for me outside. She was in an amazing blue dress that looked wonderful with her skin. I stared at her in awe before snapping out of it. She smiled at me and held her hand out. I took it gently and we walked out. The feelings were clouding my head again as we made our way out of town. I had to just accept it: I was in love with Alice, though there was no possible way she'd love me back.

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**A/N: So, some feelings are erupting in Jasper, huh? Hit or miss, guys? Oh, and please read my story 'Lost' and then vote for it in the What About Alice? Contest. Voting is now open. Please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	7. Chapter 7: No Luck

**A/N: You. Guys. Are. INCREDIBLY AWESOME! I got 8 reviews for my last chapter! It may not be some to you, but it's a heck of a lot for me! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You got this chapter out faster!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here either belongs to Stephenie Meyer or the band, Terror. I own nothing._  
**

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"_**In this world full of filth and hate  
In you I found my escape  
And I`ll give back until my last breath  
Believe in me, believe in this**_

_**This is all I've got"**_

_**-Terror, All I've Got**_

**Chapter Seven: No luck**

**Alice POV**

Ah, the feeling of new clothes was so amazing. You felt a lot cleaner, though you hadn't taken a shower. It made you feel brand new. I was indifferent to clothes before I met Jasper, but when I had learned about not remembering my human life, things changed. I knew I'd probably never get my human memories back and had to make the most of this life. We walked around the town before heading out of it again. We were only a few miles away from Riverside, Ohio, and I couldn't be any more ecstatic! I ran one of my hands absentmindedly through my short spikes to try to tame them, wanting to be presentable for the Cullens.

Jasper stayed quiet. He had been like that for the past few hours, like he was in some sort of deep state of mind. He nearly looked conflicted, if you asked me. I just gave him a warm smile before peeking into the future.

_We were wandering and wandering, searching for the house. We were so close we could smell and hear the Cullens. Wait—why didn't this look like Ohio? Because it wasn't. It was Peoria, Illinois. We came across a large house that was brown instead of white like the last one and went up to the door, giving it a quick knock. Emmett and Edward opened the door, wearing entirely different clothes than the ones I had seen in another vision._

I was back in the present, sibilant. Jasper was kneeling down and looking me straight in the eyes, a worried expression on his face. He was gently shaking my shoulders.

"Alice . . . Miss Alice . . . Are you okay?" he was murmuring. Our faces we so close I felt as giddy as a schoolgirl.

"Yes," I nodded and Jasper gave a sigh of relief. I smiled at him and he shyly smiled back. The sparks flew between us and neither of us could handle the tension anymore. Without thinking, we both leaned towards each other, eyes closed, before he was gone. Jasper stood ten feet away from me, looking terrified. "Hey, I didn't mean to scare you. I just h-had a vision."

"Oh," Jasper said awkwardly and tentatively walked back towards my side. "What did you see that made you so angry, if I'm allowed to ask?"

"Of course you're allowed," I said, smiling to make him feel safe and comfortable. "The Cullens have moved once again, this time to Illinois. I can't believe my other vision was so fallible! Well, it wasn't fallible, exactly, because the Cullens just changed their minds. They _were_ here, but they moved. Ugh, will this ever end?" I kept on babbling like that until I realized what I was doing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bore you."

"Naw, it's okay," he said. Jasper was so amiable to me and as much as that's a good thing, I wanted him to make decisions. He needed to take the reins in his life and lead it wherever he wanted to go. "What's it like?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, cocking my head to one side and looking at him as we changed directions and headed towards Illinois. Jasper looked down at the ground.

"Never mind," Jasper said. "It's irrelevant."

"No, nothing's irrelevant from you," I said, gently taking my hand in his. He tensed at first, but his hand squeezed mine as he settled his fingers into mine. Jasper sighed.

"I was just wondering about what it's like to see the future," he allowed. I smiled.

"Well, you don't get surprised," I said. "You can get disappointed, like when somebody changed their mind and suddenly, the whole future is changed and you can't do anything about it."

"When do you get disappointed?" Jasper asked.

"Well, when the Cullens change their minds," I shrugged. "And when you do."

Jasper blinked and looked at me, his whole face showing his curiosity.

"I've been searching for you for a _long_ time," I admitted. "Everywhere I went, you'd always change your mind before we could really meet and I'd have to tarry someplace else. For twenty-eight years."

Jasper's black eyes were examining the ground below us. I bit my lip. Had I scared him by admitting I'd been waiting for him for a long time?

"Why?" Jasper finally asked.

"The visions I had were auspicious for both of us," I explained. "And no matter what, the future says our lives are entwined." I held my breath, waiting for his answer on this. I had promised myself that I would never tell him anything about _our_ future together. Had this spilled the beans? Jasper nodded and we continued to run. Jasper looked like he was in pain already. It had only been around four days since our last hunt. I was rather full, but he needed this.

"I'm thirsty; shall we hunt?" I asked him and held out my hand. He grabbed it and we ran off towards some deer. I delicately leapt from Jasper's grasp and pounced on top of one deer, sinking my teeth into its neck in an eighty-second of a second. The other deer had run off and Jasper followed it.

_The deer ran right in front of a stray hiker. Jasper immediately forgot the deer and killed the human._

"No!" I gasped, sucking the rest of the blood and running in the direction Jasper had followed the deer. I came into the clearing just in time to see Jasper bite into the human's neck. "Jasper!" His wild eyes barely gave me a glance as he continued drinking. He looked like he was savoring it, but he soon looked tortured and pained. He grunted as he finished his meal and dropped the body, looking as terrible as ever. Jasper stumbled backwards, resting against the tree as if he needed support. His eyes clenched shut tightly. I just stood there, not sure of what to do. Suddenly, his depression and hurt crashed over me. Oh, Jasper! My hand went up to my mouth and I stifled a gasp while Jasper tried not to sob. This was entirely my fault. If I had only just scanned the area for humans none of this would've happened!

"You . . . don't know . . . anything," Jasper said and I looked at him curiously, "about . . . my past, correct?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered and walked slowly over to Jasper. "I know n-nothing." He sank to the ground and I crouched down next to him. Jasper had opened his eyes and was staring distantly into the trees around us. I bit my lip and scooted a little closer to him.

"I was born in Texas, in the year of 1844," he started. "I joined the Confederate army, underage. I was tall enough to get away with it. I kept moving on up in the ranks and I soon became the youngest Major, not even counting my real age. One day, when I was eighteen, I was ordered to evacuate a town and I came across three women. I stopped my horse and went to offer them a ride . . . They were pale . . . very pale. They kept talking strange, in English, but just strange. Soon, the one named Maria—" Jasper shuddered visibly at the name "—approached me. My instincts were screaming at me to run, but I didn't. I was raised to protect women, never to fear them.

"'I truly hope you survive, Jasper,' she whispered before biting into my neck. Days later, the burning had stopped—you feel like you're on fire when you get transformed—and Maria trained me to fight and we soon entered the Wars of the South. Our army was good, but I hated it. Maria . . . she hurt me and tried to convince me she loved me, but she didn't. I was just a pawn for any of her needs, easy to sacrifice. She hurt me . . . _so much_. I needed to leave, but nothing happened. Soon, my friend Peter ran off with Charlotte, someone he had taken a liking to, before I could kill her. I let them run. Maria . . . wasn't too happy about that, let's say. She didn't trust me for a while, but I soon regained my ranks. Two or three years later, Peter came back and I followed him up north, where he claimed there was peace between vampires. Soon, I just became more depressed. Peter realized it was worse after I hunted and we came to the conclusion I was empathetic. The depression became too much after a while and . . . you know the rest." Jasper sighed as I stared at him in horror. I had no idea that his past was that terrible!

"Oh, Jasper!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and giving him a big hug. By the way his emotions felt on me, he needed this more than anything. Jasper tensed as if he was going to throw me off him, but he didn't. Instead, he placed his arms gently around me. "I'm so sorry!" He sighed again and I pulled away from him. He didn't want my pity.

"The past is the past, we need to forget about it," Jasper said as if he was telling himself that more than me.

"Everything's okay," I reassured him, patting his fingers gently. That's as much as I could touch him comfortably.

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**A/N: Now, before you kill me, let me explain about my "errors" on Jasper's history. You see, Stephenie Meyer listed Jasper's 'permanent' age as 20, which means if he was turned in October of 1862, he wouldn't have to lie about his age to get into the army. Which makes me think that Stephenie listed the age everyone _thought_ Major Whitlock was. Jasper should be born in the year of 1844 so that he's not quite 17 when he should enroll in the Confederate army. And he'd turn 17 in 1861, a little after he joined in the army and would only be 18 in 1862, a year later. There's a bit of a math problem with him, but I'm sure I figured it out.**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! And to any of you who voted for me! I'm in third place, and I can't believe how humbling that is. If you want to vote, go to this link (**http:/fanfiction-challenges(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ **). Please and thank you!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp  
**


	8. Chapter 8: Trouble and Touch

**A/N: This is a shorter chapter. Sorry guys; I'm terribly sick in bed so I couldn't make this as long as I wanted it to. Thanks for the reviews-you guys are just awesome.**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here either belongs to Stephenie Meyer or K's Choice. I own nothing._  
**

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"_**You should know  
I was never more complete  
And I never thought I'd see  
The meaning of my life  
Wrapped in you  
Next to me  
If you ever fear  
Someday we might lose this  
Come back here  
To this moment that will last  
And time can go so fast  
When everything's exactly  
Where it's at  
Its very best"**_

_**-K's Choice, Favorite Adventure**_

**Chapter Eight: Trouble and Touch  
**

**Jasper POV**

Alice continued to give my fingers gentle pats in a rhythm. It was soothing…in a way which I shouldn't like. Vampire relationships could easily be broken and you always had to be on the edge to see if one will turn on you. I found myself thinking about it for the next few months of traveling to various states to see if we could catch up with the ever-moving Cullens. My sudden and new feelings toward Alice weren't the only things keeping my mind occupied, though. How could I be so sure Alice really had visions and there are real Cullens? What if she had been put up to this by Maria to just toy with my emotions and gain my trust before leading me into a trap?

Right now, Alice was tugging me towards a place to ask directions and get me new sunglasses since the ones I had on right now were cracked and dirty. She walked over to the front desk and started talking to the cashier about the less time consuming route to a city in Tennessee. I leisurely looked at different sunglasses. I tried a few on over my other ones. I had recently hunted so it was not best to take off the pair I was wearing right now. Alice was done talking and I looked over to where she was standing. There were two large guys towering over her. My super hearing allowed me to listen into their conversation.

"Hello, sugar," one of the guys said, stroking Alice's face. She stepped away from his touch glaring daggers at the man.

"Why are you all alone?" the other said, grabbing her arm.

"I'm not alone," Alice said coolly and I clenched my teeth. The emotions running off those guys was enough to make me want to kill them. "My _husband's_ over there, choosing some sunglasses. His eyes are awfully sensitive to the light." An unwelcome thrill ran through my body as she said that I was her husband.

"Where're you're wedding rings?" the blonde asked, grabbing Alice's left hand. She yanked it away from him, scowling.

"They are being tightened," Alice lied without missing a beat. "The cold causes our fingers to shrink and we'd much rather them be snug in the summer than loose them in the winter."

"Surely you don't want to be with that dope," the blonde said, tucking one of her spikes behind her ear. She tried to step back, but they had her cornered against a wall.

"I'm happy with him, thank you very much," Alice sniffed. I decided it was time to interfere and I marched over to the two. Alice caught my eyes. Her emotions were embarrassed, ticked off, hopeful, as well as that love I always felt coming off her. I nodded to her, telling her that I knew the story. I stood behind the two men and cleared my throat loudly. I sent fear towards them and they immediately backed away and stared at me.

"Gentlemen, I believe you are upsetting my _wife_," I said, feeling the same thrill as I said the word 'wife'. "I would recommend you leave before I have to force you away."

They backed away instantly and Alice walked gratefully to me.

"Wrap your arm around my shoulders," she said too low for the humans to hear, her lips barely moving. I did as I was told, willingly and uncomfortably. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said back, just as quietly. We quickly bought the sunglasses and continued on our way. When we were out of the view of the two men, I took my arm off of Alice. Disappointment rolled off her. We walked in silence for a while.

"What are you thinking about?" Alice asked pensively.

"You," I admitted. It was the strangest thing. It started about a few hours after I had told Alice about my past. I had become . . . open to her. I had never been so open to anyone or anything in my life. It was . . . nice, I guess. I felt Alice's happiness spike up.

"I'm thinking about you, too," she chirped. "Now, we'll have to stick to the forest today because we will have to pass through Briarwood, and it's sunny."

"Okay," I nodded as she led me through some smaller towns and eventually found a place that could hardly be called a forest, though it had enough trees to hide us from people. Alice sighed and sat down in front of a tree, the sun hitting her and causing her to sparkle in the most beautiful way. I looked down at what skin I had exposed and saw that all my scars defected my sparkling. I barely sparkled. I sighed and took my sunglasses off, sitting down next to Alice and just letting the heat from the big ball of gas in the sky warm me up.

Before I had met Alice, I had hated the sun, but she made me love it. I guess it was more that I loved _her_ in the sun rather than _the_ sun. Alice's eyes sparkled almost as much in the sun as her skin and I enjoyed those sparkles much more. They were not just sunlight reflecting off her skin, they were her . . . soul, I guess. Yes, they were her soul that laughed, giggled, danced, and made everyone feel better. They were purely Alice. Alice bit her lip before tentatively reaching out towards my hand holding it. She gave it a small squeeze, not breaking eye contact with me. I gave hers a gentle squeeze and she smiled before moving her hand up to my forearm. I stiffened ever so slightly but I allowed it, uncomfortable. She rubbed my shirt and then moved her hand more up my arm and to my bicep. I shivered a little at her touch, remembering Maria.

The memory started off as normal, with Alice turning suddenly into Maria who gently rubbed my upper arm and smiled evilly at me. Before the memory could go too far, some part of my mind stopped it. How could I get as low as to seeing Maria in Alice? Alice was the complete opposite of Maria!

Alice moved up to my face, a very sensitive area for me. I stiffened and Alice's hand only faltered slightly.

"It's okay," she breathed. "I'll never hurt you."

I wanted to say something back saying that I knew she would never hurt me, but I realized that would be lying. Alice cupped her hand over my cheek. One by one, my muscles put their guard down and I was soon very relaxed, but still alert. I blinked five times as I tried to organize my thoughts. This felt so _good_. I had never been touched so gently, so tenderly. I loved it. I sighed and leaned into her hand closing my eyes. Alice's happiness and that always staying love spiked up as she watched me. I felt my lips curl up again, though much larger than I had ever smiled.

I opened my eyes and met Alice's. The love from her felt so true that I couldn't help lean into her as if to give her a kiss. Alice followed my lead, but I backed away immediately, remembering Maria and that Alice didn't deserve me. I was too terrible: broken and a monster. Alice sighed, disappointment swirling around her.

"Everything will make sense soon, Jasper," Alice muttered. "You'll learn a lot about yourself in the next few months."

My eyebrows crushed together before raising to enormous heights. Did she know?

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**A/N: Semi-cliffhanger/something-I-have-no-idea-what-to-call at the end. I liked this chapter a lot-I loved writing Jasper finally getting a little tenderness in his heart. Again, sorry about the length (I actually thought it was a good length, but whatever)! And thanks to anyone who voted for me in the What About Alice? Contest! You guys rock, seriously!  
**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	9. Chapter 9: A Lovely First Kiss

**A/N: I nearly forgot about updating this story guys! I've been so busy drawing dumb cartoons (and I will _not_ publish them, no matter how much you beg me to) that I've nearly forgotten about updating. So, I woke up, ran out of bed and hopped on my computer to get this chapter to y'all. Thank you Shasta53 and all you lovely reviewers! Read on.**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is probably not mine because I've never published anything except here on this site._  
**

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"_**Now don't drown in your tears, babe  
Push your head towards the air.  
Now don't drown in your tears, babe  
I will always be there."**_

_**-Editors, Push Your Head Towards the Air**_

**Chapter Nine: A Lovely First Kiss**

**Alice POV**

Jasper stared at me as if I had told him I was part octopus. I sighed, hoping I hadn't ruined anything, and stood up, holding my hand out to Jasper.

"The sun's gone," I said and he took my hand, standing up as we ran towards the next city. "So…thanks again for helping me back at the store." I loved how he had been so protective and even called me his wife. I couldn't help but smile at the irony. Jasper had no idea that he would be doing that a lot. Overprotective fool.

"What?" Jasper asked, staring at me. He was really opening up to me and that was the best thing I could ask for. His eyes didn't even have that vapid essence to them. Instead, they had life in them. A lovely sparkle.

"Oh, nothing," I shook my head, scolding myself for him reading my amusement. "I just was thinking about the looks on those guys' faces when you approached."

"I didn't know you were sadistic," Jasper chuckled a little and my heart soared. His laugh was even more amazing than his voice.

"Well, it's funny because you scared them silly," I said. "I'm surprised you didn't make them wet themselves."

"Well, I do have to admit my power does help in _certain_ situations," Jasper said smugly.

"Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, Mister Whitlock," I accused as we headed towards a town. My shoulders sagged. He would tighten back up again when he was around humans. It was just too hard for him.

We slowed to a human paced walk as we smelt the humans. Jasper had stopped breathing and was very stiff. I gave him a supportive brush on his forearm. Jasper sent a wave of thankfulness toward me. I smiled as he put his sunglasses on and we walked through the streets of the town. As much as I was in a rush to meet the Cullens, Jasper needed this. He needed to be with humans if he was going to attend high school with the rest of our siblings. I had also seen that he was going to have difficulties adjusting with the Cullens and he needed all the practice he could get.

"I know you can do this," I said finally, so low that only he could hear.

"Will you help me if I need it?" Jasper breathed, using up his oxygen.

"Of course!" I exclaimed, swallowing some venom. We should've hunted…but I had to prove to Jasper that he didn't need to eat every day. My thirst wasn't going to be helpful to him, but hopefully he could tone it out. "I will always be by your side."

"Okay," Jasper said and diligently took a breath, squeezing my hand a little, but not looking too pained. I smiled like the Cheshire Cat and gave his hand a squeeze.

"I'm so proud of you," I whispered as he exhaled and inhaled yet again. Jasper's lips curled a little at the sides, but he was focusing too much on breathing to focus on anything else. I decided to leave him be and window shop. We hadn't gotten clothes recently. Maybe we could…no, Jasper first. This was his first time breathing in a city. Shopping would come gradually. Oh, but I really wanted a nice unwrinkled dress for the Cullens! Stop it, Alice. No shopping. Jasper is always first.

We continued walking through the town and I sighed as I saw the beautiful necklaces that I'd never be able to afford.

"_Hello?" Carlisle answered, opening the door. His eyes widened as he assessed our eyes. He kept his eyes on Jasper, taking a step backwards. Jasper looked at me like he hated this completely, but I ignored him._

"_Hi!" I said, waving. "I'm Alice and this is Jasper. We've come to live with you."_

"_How did you—" he started, but my excitement set in so I just _had_ to interrupt him._

"_I can see the future," I said simply. "I saw me meeting Jasper and traveling to live with you."_

_Carlisle blinked, absorbing the information._

"_How interesting…" he trailed off, staring at me. "Please, please, come in."_

_We stepped inside and Edward walked up._

"_Hey, Edward," I said casually and his eyes widened._

You're not the only one with a gift anymore, buddy,_ I thought to him in his head and he stared at me like I was insane. Suddenly, his eyes traveled to Jasper and he shrank into a crouch quickly before standing up straight, knowing Jasper wasn't a threat._

"Yes," I cheered. The vision was getting clearer. We'd definitely meet them today. I couldn't wait.

"What?" Jasper asked, taking another breath.

"Oh, I just saw that the Cullens are still in that house," I said. Jasper nodded and I knew that he didn't want to talk much. I decided to take another quick peek into the future to keep myself occupied.

_I dropped the bear's carcass and ran over to meet Jasper. We had been living with the Cullens for around two months now. He wiped his mouth off with his hand, looking disgusted still. He opened his eyes and I gasped._

"_What?" he asked, feeling self-conscious. I just smiled._

"_You're eyes," I said and Jasper blinked._

"_What about them?" he asked, his eyebrows creasing together._

"_They're golden!" I cheered._

"_Really?" Jasper asked, touching his face. I grabbed his hands and nodded. Our faces were just inches apart and we both had the need to close the distance..._

Two months. That's all I had to wait for Jasper to kiss me. Compared to the twenty-eight years of waiting I had already done just to meet him, this would be a breeze. We had reached the edge of the town now and I walked us quickly away to a deserted area where we could run. The Cullens' house was only a mile away now.

Suddenly, a terrible vision stopped me in my tracks. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, _no_, _no_, _no_, _no_, NO! I kicked a tree in frustration and it crashed to the floor. Jasper looked at me, real fear in his eyes. I stopped huffing and smiled sheepishly at him.

"Sorry," I said. "The Cullens…they have…well, they've moved again."

"Oh," Jasper nodded. I sighed, feeling really down all of the sudden, and sat down next to the tree I knocked over. Jasper sat down next to me. "Hey, it's okay. Don't get too upset. You didn't give up with me." He did something he had never done to me—touched me anywhere besides my shoulders or hand. His rough, gentle hand caressed my face and I looked up gratefully to him. He bit his lip, deliberating something. He sighed and slowly leaned toward me. I gasped as I saw the future. He was _really_ going to kiss me. Two months early. I leaned in toward him, not really trusting my vision and expecting him to pull away like usual, but he didn't. His lips gently touched mine and electricity ran throughout my body. I filled with passion and started kissing him deeper before Jasper cried out and scooted away from me. I silently cursed Maria for doing this to him.

"I'm sorry," I said, panting a little even though it was unnecessary. Jasper just nodded.

"_I'm_ sorry," he said guiltily. "I shouldn't have just kissed you like that. I probably made you feel the need to kiss me."

"No," I said and scooted next to him, placing my hands over his. "Jasper, I've loved you ever since I first saw you in a vision."

Jasper smiled sheepishly at me.

"I love you, too," he admitted before putting his hand under my chin, tilting my head upward. "I just need time." I nodded as he kissed me gently again, pulling away and shivering. I sighed, angry with this Maria yet again for what she had done to Jasper.

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**A/N: Hit or miss? I expect an inbox full of review alerts when I wake up, guys!**


	10. Chapter 10: Old Friends

**A/N: So guys, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I love you all! More updates on my life with the bottom A/N. Read on!  
**

**_Disclaimer: Snow Patrol owns 'Give Me Strength', Stephenie Meyer owns the 'Twilight Saga', and owns the definition for 'love' I stole. I own nothing._  
**

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"_**I choked back tears today  
'Cause I can't begin to say  
How much you've shaped this boy  
These last ten years or more"**_

_**-Snow Patrol, Give Me Strength**_

**Chapter Ten: Old Friends**

**Jasper POV**

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling which I was not familiar with; a feeling I was afraid of. Alice had respected that I had…_issues_ with affection because of my past and didn't make our relationship very physical. She squeezed my hand as we walked around the new town. She had seen another vision of where the Cullens were and had a feeling that we really would meet them this time. I was doubtful, though, and I wasn't really sure that we would ever meet the Cullens. They were like searching for a needle in a hay stack, except someone keeps deciding whether or not they want to keep the needle inside the hay.

The addicting aroma of the humans was slowly becoming less and less tempting, though I was still in terrible pain every time I went near them. I took a deliberate breath in, trying to only pay attention to the sweet smell Alice emanated. It didn't work very well. I exhaled, swallowing the venom that had filled my mouth. Alice started talking about some dress she saw in a window of a shop, but kept walking. Usually, she would make us stop at each shop window and cause the "human training" longer than I liked. Not this time, apparently.

"Jasper, we're going to meet two people you know," Alice said as if she were in a daze. My eyes widened. Maria and one of her other men? I tensed up and squeezed Alice's hand so hard she cried out in pain. I let go instantly, afraid I was going to lose control.

_Not her, anybody but her, please not her,_ I pleaded to no one. I could definitely handle Maria on my own; finally stand up to her like I had been planning to, but not in front of Alice. She'd realize what kind of a monster I was. Maybe that was a good thing-not get too attached to Alice before she ran away screaming from how terrible I was. But who was I kidding? Alice was my whole life now, even after such short time from knowing her. She meant everything and more to me.

"Who?" I finally choked out. We had stopped because of my near panic attack and Alice was looking at me with a worried look. Sympathy, anger, and worry steadily flowed off her.

"Peter and Charlotte, that's what you called them, I believe," Alice said, saying each word slowly as if I could shatter to pieces if she said a word too sharply. I sighed a breath of relief, not even smelling or hearing the humans' blood pumping through their systems. Only Peter and Charlotte. They were friends, not foes, no matter how much I worried about how they had changed since I left them. _Friends . . ._

"We'll meet them when we start to hunt next," Alice continued, sensing that I was back to my natural state. She put my hand in hers again and I gave it a gentle squeeze, showing her that I was sorry for hurting her. Alice gave me a reassuring smile, telling me it was okay.

"Peter and Charlotte?" I asked, composing myself yet again.

"Yes," Alice beamed. "They'll be very happy to see you." I smiled a little before remembering I had to breathe. I inhaled, the smells biting the insides of my throat.

"As I will for them," I agreed. Alice led me quickly through the rest of the town before walking towards the forest. I smelt a familiar scent and stopped in my tracks. Pine…lavender…apple…Peter and Charlotte. My mind went into war.

_They are veterans of the vampire wars! They'll kill Alice in the blink of an eye!_ No, they are my _friends_. They would do no such thing. _That's what you thought about Maria, but now look at you, all scarred up and broken. _Maria is a cruel, heartless wretch who only wanted me for my battle skills. It continued on and on like that until I got a headache-something vampires weren't _supposed_ to get.

"Jasper?" A shocked voice called out in the direction of the smell. I could recognize Charlotte's voice anywhere.

"Char, I don't really think that's-" Peter argued before Charlotte burst through the trees. I took a frightened step back, not liking it when people just ran at me.

"It _is_ Jasper!" Charlotte cried out as Peter appeared. "I told you. Oh my gosh, Jasper! Where have you been? You look different. Your eyes…they're-they're _orange_!" I blinked. My eyes were orange? They were really, truly changing color? Was this working? Would I be perfectly fine when I had golden eyes like Alice? Would I never thirst for a human again? I had no clue, but I was anxious.

Charlotte was like Alice, except a little more vocal, if that was even possible. Charlotte was also a little more motherly.

"That's animal blood," Alice piped up and Charlotte turned to face her.

"May I ask who you are?" she said, turning her head to one side and staring at Alice, who stood a foot below her.

"I'm Alice," Alice introduced herself. "I found Jasper and we're traveling to meet a family we're going to live with. I'm Jasper's mate."

Charlotte blinked a few times, processing the information my love just said. Slowly, a smile stretched across the length of her face.

"M-Mate?" she questioned, grinning even wider which was hard to believe possible.

"Yes," Alice said, grabbing my hand. I didn't flinch at all. Charlotte's eyes widened.

"That's….that's wonderful!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together and smiling as wide as ever. "I'm Charlotte, and this is Peter."

"Hello," Peter drawled, shaking Alice's hand when Charlotte was finished shaking hers.

"We're Jasper's-" Charlotte started before Alice cut her off.

"Jasper's old friends, of course," Alice joined in. "He never talked about you much, but I know all about you two."

"Alice . . ." I breathed, sighing as confusion nearly swept me off my feet.

"They should know, Jasper," Alice squeezed my hand. "I can see the future."

"Really?" Charlotte cocked her head to one side and Peter laughed with amazement.

"Boy, I thought I'd seen it all when we figured Jasper was some sort of mood controller, but this is amazing!" Peter exclaimed, staring at Alice with sudden interest.

"How are you sure that you can see the future?" Charlotte asked, a little more skeptical than Peter.

"I have visions," Alice explained. "Of course, the visions can change when you shift one little thing in your future, but I see it all the same. I saw us running into you two in the forest, for example, and had Jasper come over here to meet you."

"How interesting," Charlotte commented. "And that's how you found Jasper?"

"Yes," Alice beamed. "I saw how much he needed me and went to find him immediately. He's slippery, trust me, and it took me _forever_ to find him. We're traveling to find a family to live with."

"Family?" Peter questioned. "I've heard of pairings of vampires, but never a family! How many are you staying with?"

"Five others," Alice said. "We keep nearly catching them, but they are always moving. You see, they maintain permanent residences when they move and they must get exposed for what they are or something like that whenever they move."

"Permanent?" Charlotte and Peter gasped in unison as Alice nodded.

"Yes," she explained. "The Cullens, the family we wish to join, only drink the blood of animals, and are able to interact with humans without them suspecting a thing. That's why our eyes are a different color."

"Animals?" Charlotte and Peter exchanged a look. "What do they taste like?" Alice looked at me expectantly and I ducked my head, not liking the spotlight.

"They're decent," I admitted, nodding. "You get used to them." _Not really_, I added silently in my mind. I still detested hunting animals with a passion even after a year of being on the diet.

"Wow, Jasper you've definitely changed," Charlotte commented. "In a good way, of course. I have to thank you, Alice; we've never seen him this happy."

Alice beamed, her joy rising.

"Thanks," she said.

"Well, we really should get going," Peter announced. "We were on the trail of two humans and we best not let them get out of our grasps." I grimaced at how casually he used that sentence. Charlotte gave Alice and I each a hug and Peter shook my hand and kissed Alice's. We said our goodbyes before Alice turned to me.

"Speaking of hunting . . ." she started off.

"Sorry about that," I apologized to her. "I hope they didn't offend you with their liking of humans." Alice laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"It's their choice on what they want to eat," she shrugged. "So, first one to finish their meal wins?" Alice winked at me before zooming off into the forest. I went the opposite direction, determined to win this challenge. I went in the direction Peter and Charlotte had run off to, which was a mistake because I accidentally intruded on their hunt. They jumped in shock, dropping the human and letting its blood spill on the ground from his luscious, scrumptious veins. Thirst enveloped me and I allowed Whitlock take over Jasper, heading straight toward the dying human.

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**A/N: Stalk me: **http:/twitter(dot)com/EmmaTwivamp **I'll give you updates on my writings and everything. And, if any of you haven't noticed, I have a poll on my profile page that asks you about what you think about this story. Go and vote (and review, too)!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	11. Chapter 11: Not Again

**A/N: Wow, last chapter marked the halfway point! I'm getting nostalgic now 'cause I don't want it to end! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, yet again. You guys are amazing! I hope this chapter is okay-I haven't had sleep in 24 hours, so I hope I didn't mess it up in the editing!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is not mine. I'm just borrowing Alice and Jasper to create an interesting background for them. Not mine!_  
**

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"_**We will be alright,  
I'll be by your side  
I won't let you down  
But I gotta know,  
No matter how things go  
That you will be alright"**_

_**-Lenka, Don't Let Me Fall**_

**Chapter Eleven: Not Again**

**Alice POV**

I heard with my sensitive hearing Jasper attack a human. My face fell. How could I be so careless to try to be playful when Peter and Charlotte were going to hunt a human? I sucked down the rest of my deer's blood before flitting over to where Jasper was standing, staring at his bloody hands in horror. Tremors ran throughout his body. Peter and Charlotte were glancing from me to Jasper and back again. I sighed.

"Not again," I choked out and Jasper's eyes flashed to meet mine, bright red and full of agony and misery.

I looked at Peter and Charlotte, silently begging them to leave. They immediately understood and quietly backed away into the dark forest. Jasper didn't need three people trying to cheer him up-he only wanted me, and I knew it, though I wasn't sure how I was going to help him feel better now. He embarrassed himself in front of his friends, disappointed himself, and caused me to worry about him-everything he never wanted to do.

We stared at each other in silence, both not sure of what to say. I eventually decided to break the alarming silence.

"Jasper…" I started off, walking slowly towards him. He ducked his head, anger flowing all around him. I brushed his bangs away from his eyes and he glared at me.

"Go ahead and say it," he spat. "Go ahead and yell at me, tell me how awful I am and how you don't deserve me."

"Why would I do that?" I asked and brushed my hand across his cheek as he studied the ground.

"I deserve it," he growled out.

"Jasper, it just takes-"

"DON'T SAY IT JUST TAKES TIME!" he exploded, jumping back away from my touch.

"Jasper!" I gasped he ignored me, continuing his rant.

"I HAVE BEEN HUNTING ANIMALS FOR OVER A YEAR, YET I CAN HARDLY STAND BEING NEAR A HUMAN!" he shouted to me, clenching his fists in fury. "I GO THROUGH AGONY EACH AND EVERY HOUR I AM NOT HUNTING AND HOW DO YOU DO? YOU ARE _JUST FINE_! HUMANS AREN'T AN ISSUE FOR YOU! LOOK AT YOU! YOU AREN'T EVEN FLINCHING AT THE BLOOD THAT'S SOILING MY CLOTHES, STAINING MY FINGERS!" He soon ran out of words to say and just stared at me, huffing.

"Jasper, if I knew at all how terrible you felt, I'd never-" I started before he cut me off again, cooled down slightly.

"No," Jasper sighed. "No. I need this. I need your support. I need you more than anything." I nodded as he stepped toward me again.

"Then I'll be there for you," I said taking his hand and entwining my fingers with his and pulling them up to my lips, kissing them softly. Jasper tensed, but I felt his love flow freely from him. "Wherever you go, I'll be a step behind you, ready to catch you if you fall." Jasper smiled at that.

"You know that sounded cheesy," he said sheepishly, desperately trying to make things light, and I chuckled.

"Hey, I was trying to be romantic for once!" I defended myself before he kissed my gently on my lips. I bit back the desire the kiss came with, knowing that he wasn't ready for anything more than a peck on the lips.

"Romantic or not, I love you all the same," Jasper said.

"Now that sounded cheesy," I giggled.

"Not as cheesy as your line," Jasper said, giving me a mock scowl. I smiled, elated that Jasper actually played along with me. He had changed so much since I had met him. Jasper smiled back to me.

"Come on, we should really get going," I said and led him away from the body. "Should we find a river to wash our hands in or do you want to go into town?"

"River would probably be best," Jasper sighed, looking at his-and now my-hands which were filthy with drying blood.

"Nobody's perfect," I comforted him as we flew across the forest towards the nearest river. Jasper dunked his hands in immediately when we found a small lake. I gently dipped my hands in, scrubbing them lightly as Jasper dried his off. I usually would've scolded him for soiling his clothes with the dirty pond water, but he was fragile right now.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you before," Jasper said, pulling me into his lap. I gasped. Jasper had never enforced the physical contact between us before, especially not letting me sit in his lap.

"It's okay," I muttered, resting my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a while, neither of us feeling the need to talk at all. Just being with each other was enough to make us content. I closed my eyes, listening and feeling everything around me: the heartbeats of the pond's inhabitants, the gentle breeze that blew Jasper's hair onto my forehead, Jasper's scent of calming lavender, the slight mist that was from the fog that had drifted down from the sky…

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper muttered into my ear. I sighed and nuzzled deeper into his neck.

"Nothing," I answered. "Just letting my worries go away."

"Ah," Jasper nodded, sighing with contentment. A wave of serenity washed over me and I smiled. He'd never felt this peaceful since I'd met him.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"What I did to deserve you," Jasper answered. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"And what's that?" I questioned and Jasper smiled gravely.

"I can't figure that out," he admitted and I stroked his face.

"You're a good person," I said, saying each word slowly and with a lot of meaning. He didn't make eye contact with me, studying the pond. Finally, he nodded.

"I may not be one now, but you'll help me become one," he allowed, closing his eyes and resting his cheek on my head.

We were back to the peaceful silence and I found my fingers fumbling with the necklace that was around my neck. I smiled. It was a gift from Jasper-the first gift I had ever gotten, the first gift he had ever given. He had gotten for me when I glanced longingly at yet another jewelry store window when I wasn't looking. We had gone in a clothing department and instead of trying on some of the clothes I had chosen from him, Jasper went to the jeweler and bought the necklace. It was so nice of him, but then I had to pay for all the clothes. I didn't mind, but Jasper did.

My ears picked up feet pounding against the forest floor about fifty feet away. Judging by the smell, it was a vampire . . . no, at least twenty vampires. I was on my feet in an instant, wondering if they were going to hurt us. Jasper was in front of me the next moment, grabbing my hand and pulling me in the opposite direction. His eyes showed fear . . . pure fear that sent chills down my spine. Suddenly, a tiny woman was standing in front of us and Jasper clenched my hand tightly. He was scared stiff of whomever it was.

"Jasper," she purred, smirking evilly. "Long time no see."

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**A/N: Cliche, I know, but Jasper has to deal with a large problem of his past to be able to move on. Maria is the cause of all his torture. Follow me on Twitter (**http:/twitter(dot)com/EmmaTwivamp**) to get sneak peeks of new Serenity chapters and updates on how I'm doing with writing. And, before I forget, review!  
**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	12. Chapter 12: Complications

**A/N: So, Pixie97 asked for me to update today before s/he goes to camp! Here ya go, Pixie97!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is not mine. I own nothing._  
**

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"_**You, I would die for you, yeah  
Darling if you want me to  
You, I would die for you"**_

_**-Prince, I Would Die for You**_

**Chapter Twelve: Complications**

**Jasper POV**

Chills ran down my spine as I heard that same voice that haunted me every time I hunted a human. Maria. I snarled and stepped in front of Alice. She peeked around my elbow. Maria eyed her suspiciously and I moved in front of Alice even more, crouching down into my hunting position and growling.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper," she sighed as she circled around Alice and me slowly. I never let her get another glimpse of Alice and circled with her. "What has become of you? You're trained. Like a little dog. Are you her pet, Jasper?" I snarled again.

"I am not trained," I hissed through my teeth. "I am free."

Maria chuckled.

"I see you've found a new girl to entertain, Jasper," she commented casually, her voice still menacing. "Funny, I thought you loved _me_." Alice's jealousy and hurt flowed throughout the trees, causing me to grimace.

"I never loved you," I growled. "Love is wonderful, joyous emotions. All I felt for you was fear. At first, I thought it was love, but then I learned you were just using me." Alice felt better now and she put a hand on my back, scared. The other vampires-some of her old army, I supposed-came into vision and I snarled. "I always knew you'd be a coward. Bringing all these other vampires to back you up so you don't die, which would've been the outcome if you hadn't brought any. I'll give you a choice, Maria, run away now, and I may not pursue you. Otherwise, I'll have to follow through on what I have decided a long time ago."

Maria snarled a vicious snarl that rattled my ribcage. Alice's hand grabbed a fistful of my shirt, her breathing getting fast and shallow. She was terrified now. My upper lip curled over my front teeth as I realized Maria was doing this to her.

"You do not talk to you leader like that!" Maria cried out, offended by my statement.

"You are _not_ my leader," I said calmly, but dangerously.

"Then I suppose the girl is," Maria raised an eyebrow.

"No," I said. "I am in control of my own actions."

"Uh huh," Maria said incredulously. "Then I'm positive it was your choice to fight in the Confederacy? Or how about to join my army? Even meeting this little girl?" My teeth ground together, knowing that I had no comeback for that. I _had_ had no choice about joining the Civil War, fighting in Maria's army, and meeting Alice. "Jasper, you were much better off with me. You would've had a more successful afterlife than with this girl." I shook my head, feeling dizzy. Maria had a form of a power of hypnotizing you and I couldn't let that get to me.

"No," I shook my head. "Life with Alice is much better than the torment you put me through. I'll never come back to you."

"Yes you will," Maria demanded and I avoided eye contact with her, trying to make the hypnosis less alluring.

"I think it would be best if you left Alice and I alone and went back to your life," I said calmly, asking her one last time to leave us. "This is your last warning before I attack."

Maria giggled, the look she gave me said, "Try me."

"You asked for it," I growled and charged, pushing Alice far away from the war that was going to break out. This was something I never wanted to do again, but I felt myself getting back into routine. I felt strong, forceful, and proud of the major I was. War was only a scratch on the glamorous window of Confederacy. Maria had run off out to the side and all the newborn vampires were charging at me.

"Jasper!" Alice cried out, leaping gracefully right next to me. I stared at her wide-eyed. No woman was ever supposed to join in the fight, only make nice food and wish us soldiers well before we went to the gruesome battlefield. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Stay out of it, Alice," I told her, pushing her back once more and fighting off one. It was an easy kill. Maria was really slacking on training these vampires, apparently. The second newborn was in shreds within seconds as was the third. Maria was snarling off in the distance and I chose to pursue her. She saw me coming and ran. I quickly followed, gaining on her thanks to my longer stride. She kicked off on a tree and then flew through the air. I followed on foot, trying to figure out the pattern of her course. Her muscles tensed and I was ready for it. I kicked off on an opposite tree, causing me to collide with her with a large crash.

I sank my teeth into her neck and ripped a piece out before she was out and running. Growling, I ran after her.

"Come on and fight me, you coward!" I yelled to her. "Stop running away and fight like the leader you once were!" She was far too ahead of me, but I quickly thought of a way to catch up with her. I used her method of using trees to gain more ground and flew through the forest, literally. I kicked off of three more trees and passed her by a foot. I landed and wheeled around to find her running the opposite direction. She knew that she'd loose this battle and was afraid to die. Before I could realize it, she had wheeled around and was biting me. I cried out in pain, ripping her mouth off my neck. Thankfully, she didn't take any of my skin with her. I had been in enough battles to know how hard it is to get my skin attached back onto my flesh.

I kicked her into a tree, causing it to crash to the floor. I was immediately on top of her, my mouth biting into her skin and ripping as much as I could off of her. Maria rolled me over and sunk her teeth into me. I gasped in shock as she ripped a piece of my bicep off. I punched her off of me and she went running this time.

I accidentally glanced at my surroundings-my own skin, disembodied from me. That piece of flesh falling to the ground and bouncing brought back painful memories of how I had done that to too many vampires. I was becoming what I had become before. Pain crashed through me and I grabbed my spare piece of skin before calling out to Maria.

"Maria," I choked out into the clearing. "I can't take anymore of this. Please don't do this. If we can have a truce of some sort, I'd rather do that than kill you."

Maria hesitantly stood thirty feet away from me, eyeing me curiously.

"You've really changed, Jasper," she mused.

"I know," I nodded gravely. "I'd be happy to have a truce if you would."

She hesitantly stepped closer to me, trying to see if I was going to attack her. Soon, she was just a foot away. Maria loved her life too much to risk it, and she'd probably believe that if she made a truce with me, she could possibly get me to come back to the wars and fight with her again.

"Sure," she said finally, and I could see my assumed plan finalizing in her eyes. "Truce." We both shook hands before I remembered Alice.

"I'll see you sometime, maybe, Maria," I said quickly and immediately ran to save Alice. There was no way one with no experience could last three seconds in a fight with seventeen other ravenous newborns.

I entered the area by the lake to see a big surprise. Alice had killed off more than ten of the newborns with her eyes closed. I immediately helped her out in demolishing the rest. Soon, we were surrounded by vampire remains.

The silence caused me to reflect on what had happened just a few minutes before. I couldn't help but feel terrible with how I had let the monster within me be released once more.

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**A/N: I'm not very good at writing action scenes, sorry about that. Hit or miss? I'm sorry to anyone who wanted Maria to die-she's still alive in the Twilight Saga, so I had to keep that in mind if I wanted this story to be canon. Hope you have fun at camp, Pixie97! Review please. Maybe I'll give you guys a treat if I hit over 55 reviews, hmm? Like an extra long sneak peek in a review reply. Follow me on Twitter for updates on how my writing's going!  
**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	13. Chapter 13: Back to the Past

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! You are so awesome! Since we're past 55, and some of you are not following me on Twitter, I'll give you a sneak peek of the next chapter at the end of this one. I love each and every review of yours!**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize in here.**_

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"_**I'm holding on for you,  
I'm fighting for your life.  
And when you're blinded by this jaded world,  
I'll be your eyes.  
Even if you fall,  
I won't let you break.  
When all the noise is telling you  
To run away,  
Run to me."**_

_**-Nick Lachey, Run to Me**_

**Chapter Thirteen: Back to the past**

**Alice POV**

Jasper just stared at the fire, clutching something in his hand. A gasp escaped my lips as I studied him closely. He'd had his sleeves rolled up before, but now they were scooted down, and I could tell part of his arm was missing.

"Jasper!" I exclaimed, running over to his side in a second and rolling his sleeve up. Just as I suspected, there was a chunk gone. Jasper warily looked to me before opening his hand, giving me the spare piece. I gently took it, worried that I'd break it.

"At least you didn't get hurt," Jasper mumbled, looking far across the pond. Around the edges of his missing piece of skin was a lining of venom that stung my fingers when I touched it. "How did you do it, by the way?"

"I just watched you," I admitted. "I nearly got hit a lot of the time, but I did what you did. It worked, I guess." I smiled a little before tentatively placing Jasper's skin back. He winced, biting his lip hard and closing his eyes tightly shut. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just held it there. "Jasper, I'm so sorry . . ." I whispered, but Jasper just shook his head.

"It's my fault," he said. "If I hadn't have left Maria-"

"Jasper, she would've done this to you anyway whether you left her or not," I argued and Jasper sighed.

"I just hate for you to have seen that," he admitted, his red eyes looking straight at me. "I don't want you to go through what I've had to go through."

I figured he meant something about the "shell shock" that I had been informed the Civil War veterans suffered from. Surprisingly, the violence that I had just seen didn't bother me too much. All that mattered to me was that Jasper was safe.

"Is she . . . ?" I trailed off.

"No," Jasper shook his head, knowing I was asking about Maria. "We . . . made a truce, I guess. I didn't _want_ to kill her. I don't know why. I should've just finished her off . . . but I couldn't." I smiled a little, even though it ached to do so. Jasper was becoming more and more of a Cullen each and every day, though I was upset that he didn't get his revenge with Maria. At least we were both safe.

Jasper grabbed his piece of flesh and licked it, coating it with more venom before sticking it onto his arm. I brushed my hand against the sore. Jasper silently placed his hand over my hand that was tending to his wound, allowing his skin to fuse back together slowly and steadily.

"Does it hurt?" I whimpered into the darkening sky. The sun was going down and the smoke from the burning bodies was clouding around us.

"Not really," Jasper grimaced. "I've had worse." I looked down at his exposed arm, something I hadn't seen before, studying all the scars that twisted and curled down his arm. My other hand gently stroked them while I thought deeply. How could Jasper stand to even smile after what he had been through?

"I'm just . . . so sorry . . ." I mumbled, shaking my head as I watched Jasper's skin slowly fuse back together.

"Everything will be fine now," Jasper whispered quietly, more to himself than anyone else. I nodded, watching Jasper grind his teeth.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him quietly and he nodded.

"Did you get hurt?" he asked, looking me up and down.

"No," I said quickly, ignoring the fact that I was a little beaten from having _some_ difficulty with the vampires.

"Don't lie to me, Alice," Jasper sighed, putting his hand on my shoulder, which was really tender. I winced before I could control myself. I bit my lip and looked at Jasper who looked at the ground discouragingly. Jasper took his hand off my shoulder before looking me hard in the eye. "I never should've gone into that diner."

"I would've found you some other way," I argued, shaking my head. "Jasper, even if I hadn't met you today, I would still search for you until we met. We are _meant_ to be together _forever_."

"I should've just killed myself before I met you like I had been planning," Jasper muttered and I tried to hide how much that hurt me. He was regretting ever meeting me and falling in love. I looked to the ground, unable to meet Jasper's eyes. My bottom lip trembled. Jasper's fingers were under my chin in an instant, forcing me to look into his apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just . . . just convinced myself for one second that we shouldn't be together so you won't get hurt. I am terribly wrong, darling, because I'd never be that strong to leave you." With that, he gave me another tender kiss. He pulled away, leaving his forehead pressed against mine and looking deeply into my eyes.

"Good, because I'd never let you leave," I whispered, rubbing my nose against his. I looked at his wound and saw that his skin was nearly fused back together. I took my hand off of it and the wound stayed in place. "You're nearly healed," I murmured, brushing my fingers against his arm. He winced.

"As healed as I will be for now," Jasper agreed before standing to his full height, towering over me. I smiled up at him, grabbing his hand.

"To the Cullens'?" I questioned, tilting my head in the direction the Cullens' house was. Jasper nodded and we started running. Amazingly, they hadn't changed their mind yet, but I was ready for the disappointing vision. Jasper was exceptionally quiet and I could tell he was reliving terrifying memories triggered by the war we had just been in. He had a faraway look in his eyes and looked like he would if he were human-105 years old. I tried to distract him from everything in his mind without success.

"Emmett and Edward will be hunting when we arrive," I stated, skipping alongside Jasper while he ran. "That's the downside, but we'll catch them when Carlisle is home from work."

"Work?" Jasper questioned, ducking from a stray branch that was too high to hit my head.

"Yes, Carlisle works at the hospital; did I not tell you that?" I questioned and Jasper stopped in his tracks, his eyes the size of the moon.

"H-hospital?" he choked out.

"Yes . . ." I started warily. What on Earth was wrong?

"But . . . humans _bleed_," Jasper exclaimed.

"Yes," I nodded. "Carlisle has been practicing his restraint for three hundred and seven years, Jasper. He's got a lot of control around human blood."

"Oh," Jasper said, not seeming to be relieved at all. If anything, he was even more worried about meeting the Cullens. We stared at each other in silence for a little while. Right before I was going to say we should continue running, Jasper asked me, "Alice?"

"Yes?" I answered.

"Will the . . . will the Cullens like me?" he asked sheepishly, his eyes timid.

"Of course!" I said. "They'll love you!"

"They won't be scared?" Jasper asked. Now, that caught me off guard. The Cullens would be a little wary of Jasper at first. I wasn't sure whether that would boost Jasper's confidence or not.

"Um . . . they will be a little shy at first, but they'll soon learn how loving and compassionate you are."

Jasper ducked his head, probably blushing if he were human.

"Oh," he nodded. "Okay." We continued running. I was surprised-we were only a mile away and the vision was only getting clearer. Soon, the house was in view. Jasper clenched my hand tightly as we slowly approached the house of our new family. I just beamed-we had finally found the Cullen family!

* * *

**A/N: Yay! The Cullens! Finally, huh?**

**I don't have a song for the next chapter. Anyone want to recommend some that have to do with the compassion of family? It's okay if you don't. So, onto the sneak peek:**

_**"I'm Alice," Alice explained as they all stared at us, flabbergasted. "And this is Jasper. We've come here to live with you. Which rooms are open?"**_

_**They still just stared at us, jaws hanging to the floor and eyes bulging out of their sockets. I decided to help them out a bit and give them a small amount of calm to cool them down. Carlisle was the first to recover.**_

**Excited for the next chapter? Review for it to come faster!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	14. Chapter 14: The Cullens

**A/N: So, here's the highly anticipated (I might be exaggerating that _just_ a bit :P) Cullen chapter! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews! They're the best thing a girl could have! So, read on! Oh, and I couldn't find a proper song to fit this. :( But, the story must go on!  
**

**_Disclaimer: I'm too sleepy to say this in a creative way: Nothing in here belongs to me._  
**

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* * *

Chapter Fourteen: The Cullens**

**Jasper POV  
**

I bit my lip as Alice gently knocked on the door. Why did we have to meet these Cullens now, fresh from battle? My instincts were raging and I could hardly even trust Alice due to the memories fogging up my vision. After one second, a blonde man and a small caramel colored hair woman answered the door, immediately taking a step back.

"Hello?" said the shocked blonde man.

"Hi, Carlisle," Alice waved at the blonde man and his shock hit me as hard as a bullet. "Hi, Esme. Can we come in?"

"Uh . . . uh," was all the man, Carlisle, I presume, could manage to get out. I helped him out a little bit by gently feeding him calm little by little until he was composed enough. "I guess?" He and Esme stepped away from the door way to allow us in. Alice danced into the house, looking all around with a huge smile on her face. I tensed my grip on Alice's hand as we turned to face Carlisle and Esme. In my peripheral vision, I could see a blonde girl walking into the room.

"Who are you?" she instantly demanded, running straight towards us before backtracking slightly when she looked at me.

"Hi, Rosalie," Alice greeted casually, giving the tall girl a hug. Rosalie looked like she had just been touched by someone contagious.

"Uh . . ." was all she wound up saying, too.

"I'm Alice," Alice explained as they all stared at us, flabbergasted. "And this is Jasper. We've come here to live with you. Which rooms are open?"

They still just stared at us, jaws hanging to the floor and eyes bulging out of their sockets. I decided to help them out a bit and give them a small amount of calm to cool them down. Carlisle was the first to recover.

"Of course," he said after a long pause, his voice going up high. "There are, um, there are some rooms that are empty and are free for you to move into." Alice smiled, nodding and led me up the staircase. I could feel the Cullens' stares beating down on my back as we ran up the stairs. I heard whispers too low for me to decipher coming from my new family.

"Hmm," Alice commented as she walked around the house, looking for nice rooms. "These empty ones are not as . . . nice as I wanted ours to be."

Ours? We were sharing a bedroom? Alice yanked me over to some room overflowing with different types of music and a small couch next to a desk.

"Oh, look at how beautifully this is lighted, Jasper! And the view . . . oh, the view is fantastic!" Alice exclaimed, swirling in circles around the room. "This is perfect." I raised my eyebrows, questioning her sanity. This room was _taken_. Surely, she must be kidding with me. Alice grabbed a stack of music. And walked out of the room. I instantly followed her, grabbing her by the elbow and pulling her to me.

"Alice!" I hissed into her ear. "Are you insane? This room is _taken_. That means we can't move in!"

"Silly Jasper," Alice sighed and skipped down the staircase. I didn't know what to do-I didn't want to see the Cullens' looks on their faces while Alice moves some person's belongings out of their garage, but I also wanted to protect her if the Cullens were angry with her for doing that. I decided to stay up here and give the Cullens calming emotions so they handled Alice's choice with grace.

They gently questioned Alice what she was doing as she walked into a different room.

"Edward's okay with it; don't worry!" Alice called out before racing back upstairs and into the room again, grabbing a bunch of Edward's supposed things and running down to the other room. She continued doing so until the entire room was cleaned out of all its inhabitants. Alice looked around the empty room with her hands on her hips, clearly proud of what she had done.

"Are you sure-" I started before Alice could stop me. I didn't like it here too much. It was too . . . human-like.

"Don't you trust me?" Alice asked, smirking before grabbing my hand and towing me downstairs to meet my 'family'. They were standing in exactly the same spot, my calming wave swirling about them. "I can see the future." Carlisle's eyes widened and I expected Alice had answered his question before he asked it.

"Oh," Carlisle said, staring at Alice with interest. "How very interesting . . . we have another gifted member in this family. His name is-"

"Edward."

"Yes," Carlisle smiled. "Edward can-"

"Read minds, yes." Read minds? My muscles tensed. That didn't seem like a very trustworthy power for a vampire to have.

Instead of being annoyed, Carlisle smiled wider. I looked away from him, feeling anger radiating from someone. I located the source immediately: Rosalie. She was looking me up and down, glaring. I met her eyes and nodded, setting my jaw. I held onto Alice's hand tighter and scooted ever slightly closer to her.

"Your power is something else," Carlisle laughed, shaking his head. Esme cracked a smile, warming up to us.

"What about you, Jasper?" she asked, feeling that they were neglecting me. I fought a grimace. I'd rather be ignored than put in the center of attention. Rosalie raised a thin eyebrow. I sent miniscule amounts of calm toward her. "Do you have a gift?"

_No, I do not, ma'am, but I do have a wretched curse, thanks for asking._

"Yes, ma'am," I muttered, looking at my feet.

"And it is . . . ?" she pressed, smiling encouragingly at me.

_Oh, I don't want to mentally, emotionally, and physically scar you by letting you go through what I go through daily. But, if you insist . . ._

"I can feel and change the emotions around me," I mumbled, ignoring Jasper who was kicking my insides, screaming for me to make eye contact and do all the things a polite gentleman would do. Whitlock was still dominant.

Carlisle nodded.

"That's one peculiar gift," he commented. "I don't believe I've met another vampire with a mood-related gift." Oh, so I really _was_ cursed for my wrongdoings.

Suddenly, we heard a car pull up and someone snarling and another laughing.

"Rosalie!" the snarling voice hissed. "What the _heck_ did you do with my stuff?"

"Great going, Rose!" The laugher chortled and everybody had their eyes on Alice, who was smiling, trying to look innocent.

* * *

**A/N: Some of you may be upset with how Jasper acted in his mind when Esme was talking to him, but that's because he was practically put on the spot. When you're put on the spot (and you don't want to be there) you tend to get into a bad mood. I hope this wasn't cheesy! In all the Alice/Jasper stories like this I've read, this chapter has always been the cheesiest. I hope I didn't do that! Sorry if I did! Review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	15. Chapter 15: Fitting in Part I

**A/N: Sorry it's a little choppy! I couldn't find a better way to write this so it turned out a _little_ . . . what's another word for choppy? Well, you get the idea. This chapter and chapter 16 will pretty much be filler-in chapters to show how Alice and Jasper are getting along with the Cullens. Thanks for all your reviews, guys. I truly love them!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is not mine. I own nothing._  
**

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When we sing the story  
Make sure your song is right.  
Finally proved the message true.  
See what love can do.  
Oh, see what love can do.**_

_**-Eric Clapton, See What Love Can Do**_

**Chapter Fifteen: Fitting in Part I**

**Alice POV**

Edward ran into the room, looking furious, followed by a smiling Emmett. They both stopped instantly and stared at Jasper and I. Jasper had stepped even closer to me, his stance protective. I stepped in front of him.

"Hey Ed, Em," I waved casually and both of their jaws dropped open in sync.

"How-" Emmett started before Edward answered him.

"She's psychic," Edward whispered, amazed. Emmett tilted his head, staring at me with curiosity. I smiled as warmly as I could at him.

"Edward, Emmett, this is Alice and Jasper," Carlisle introduced us. "Alice, Jasper, this is Edward and Emmett."

"_Living _with us?" Edward questioned, looking straight at Carlisle, reading his mind.

"Yep," I answered. "We've come to join your family."

"But you're not—" Edward started and I foresaw what he was going to say would hurt Jasper. He wanted to use Jasper's freshly red eyes as proof we were not vegetarians.

"We're working on that," I interrupted him.

_He's trying his hardest, _I thought to Edward. _It's hard for him—he's only been trying for one year after nearly a century of hunting humans._

Edward nodded slowly, taking Jasper in for the first time. I could see the mistrust in his eyes and bit back a snarl. Edward would eventually warm up to Jasper, though he might be a little protective of me first.

I gave Jasper a gentle nudge. He got the hint.

"Hello," he said quietly. Jasper absolutely hated it here, I could tell. The Cullens would grow on him, though, eventually. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He tentatively held out his hand, squeezing mine he held hard. I was shocked he actually offered physical contact with Edward. I gently stroked his arm, showing him subtly how proud of him he was. Edward took it and shook it.

"The pleasure's mine," he said, smiling slightly. He opened his mouth and I saw what he would say again.

_Don't ask him, _I shouted to him in my head. _He's not comfortable with telling people of his past._

Edward glanced at me, thanks gleaming in his eyes. I smiled.

_You're welcome,_ I thought.

"Emmett, Emmett McCarty Cullen," Emmett smiled, walking towards Jasper and offering his hand. Jasper gave my hand a very painful squeeze before shaking Emmett's hand. Even though Emmett was only two inches taller than Jasper, he looked like he worked out 24/7. That was usually threatening for a vampire. I had gotten used to Emmett's size, thanks to my visions. Nothing surprised me about the Cullens.

_Stop him from asking!_ I hissed to Edward in my mind, seeing the future of Emmett asking what was up with Jasper's scarred hand. Edward stepped on his foot and Emmett looked down at him. Edward gave his head a quick shake, telling Emmett 'no'. Jasper looked at me curiously and I pretended to be as absolutely innocent and confused as he was.

"Jasper Whitlock," Jasper nodded, eyeing him weirdly. It would take time for him to actually accept the Cullen name. Maybe after we had gotten some new things into our room he'd be more comfortable.

"You did that to my stuff?" Edward questioned, his eyes on fire. I only smiled as Emmett cracked up.

"You're room had the best view," I shrugged and Edward frowned, not amused whatsoever.

The Cullens had welcomed us warmly into their house . . . after a while. I was now watching Edward grumble and move his belongings into a different room with a smug smile plastered on my face. I was lying lazily on the couch; Jasper was next to me, standing of course. Suddenly, Edward flew down the stairs and straight towards a grand piano. He sat down fluidly and gently tinkered with the keys-a new composition? I instantly got up and sat right next to Edward on the piano bench. Edward looked at me slightly. Jasper stayed in the corner of the room, looking tense.

"Please continue playing," I demand shyly. "I love your music."

Edward smiled crookedly and continued playing. He started to get really into his music and played with such expression I could practically see the keys of his piano coming to life. I closed my eyes and gently swayed, seeing the tune in the future and humming along. Edward chuckled gently and continued playing. It was a harsh song at first, but now it was drifting to a gentle, joyful melody. Eventually, Edward's fingers flew around the keys so there was a higher melody running off on its own while the other, deeper melody stayed with the same rhythm. Too soon, the song ended.

"Who was your inspiration for that?" I teased and Edward winked at me.

"I'm pretty sure you know," he grinned and Esme walked into the room. She looked straight at Jasper.

"Jasper, honey, you can always sit down if you wish," she said, motioning to the couch.

"I'm fine, ma'am," Jasper nodded quietly. "Thank you for offering."

"Anytime," Esme said, not quite sure how to answer that. She quickly compensated and turned to where Edward and I sat, pride in her eyes at how we were so close already. "That was wonderful, Edward! Is there any specific inspiration or tale that comes with this song?"

"Alice stealing my room," Edward exclaimed, nudging me in the ribs. I just giggled. Esme smiled widely and Jasper even smirked a little. He was happy that I was happy. I met his eyes and sent him as much love as I could muster, hoping that I'd make him feel better. Jasper reciprocated the emotion, sending it back at me. He winked half-heartedly at me and my smile lessened just a bit. He was uncomfortable.

"Well, that's great that you guys are getting along!" She exclaimed, heading to sit on the couch.

"Now, if you ladies and gentleman won't mind, I shall be organizing my room since _somebody_ didn't keep everything in its proper order," Edward said, running up the stairs. I stuck my tongue out at him before going to sit next to Esme.

"So, Alice, you seem like a girl with a story," she smiled. "Would you care to share it?"

"Well," I started. "I don't remember any of my human life, which is odd, but I do. All I know is waking up after a vision I had of Jasper's face. I soon learned about your family and what I was supposed to do. Twenty-eight years later, I found Jasper and we went searching for you. You guys move around a lot, you know? It took us _two years _to find you."

Esme chuckled.

"We've been having issues with keeping our anonymity," she explained. "First, Emmett had an accident, and then somebody recognized Rosalie and so on. It was quite a couple of years. Of course, I'm glad we've settled enough for you and Jasper to come here. I'm sure we'll enjoy having you in the family. We already do."

I smiled gently.

"Have you guys enrolled Edward, Rose, and Em in school yet?" I asked and Esme looked shocked before nodding.

"It'll take a while to get used to you knowing everything," she chortled. "Of course, we are sort of used to it thanks to Edward."

"I heard that." I heard Edward growl jokingly from upstairs. Esme shook her head.

"Well, not yet, we've only been in this house for two days," she sighed. "That's why this house is only half decorated. If only you had come a little later . . . our house would be much better than this, then."

I laughed with Esme.

"Maybe I could help you decorate?" I asked and Esme beamed.

"Of course!" she said. "It would be nice for once if someone other than Carlisle would help out with the interior and exterior decorations."

"Shall we?" I asked and we both started getting some of Esme's decorating supplies . . .

* * *

After about an hour, the entire house was perfectly set up and Esme had ghosted off to find Carlisle and show him. Rosalie gracefully floated down the stairs and stared at me in wonder. She looked me up in down, in my old and tattered dress, raising her eyebrows. I smiled, trying to hide my self-consciousness. Jasper gently grabbed my hand, assuring me that I was beautiful.

"Want to shop, Rose?" I piped up and she pursed her lips.

"Finally, I won't have to go along with Rose on anymore stupid shopping trips!" Emmett cried out from the couch, relieved. He was reading some really thick book at vampire-fast speed.

"Oh yes, you will," Rosalie glared at him before turning back to me, her expression still soft from looking at her love. "I guess . . ." she finally answered and I cheered, grabbing her and running her into the garage. Jasper followed along quietly. Of course he'd have to come to pick out all the right things. Rosalie got into the passenger seat and looked at me expectantly. I smiled sheepishly.

"I don't know how to drive," I admitted and Rosalie got out of her car.

"I'll show you sometime," she said, getting into the driver's seat. I hopped in shot gun while Jasper quietly scooted into the backseat. Soon, we were flying across the road, heading straight toward a shopping center. An awkward silence filled the car until we reached the store. I danced into the department, grabbing everything in sight. Rosalie picked some things out, too. I noticed we shared the same taste in clothes.

"So, you like to shop?" she asked quietly, studying the seams on a dress as we moved about.

"It's okay," I shrugged. "I . . . want to make the best out of my life by living luxurious."

"Well, the way we live is probably as close to luxury as you can get," Rosalie giggled. I beamed at her.

"Can we hurry up?" I questioned and Rosalie looked a little offended. "I can't stand another minute in these grimy clothes!"

She smiled then and we went off to pay. I grabbed Jasper's hand and gave it a squeeze, showing him the shirts I had picked out for him. He just rolled his eyes, smirking lightly.

Soon, we were heading all over town, going to different shops to get some new furniture and décor for our bedroom. Rosalie and I really warmed up to each other a whole lot and we were laughing in the car ride home.

"You know, Alice, you're not too bad," Rosalie mentioned as we walked into the house, bags full of things. Jasper was carrying some of the heavier and larger pieces of furniture that he wouldn't allow me to carry. I hugged Rosalie around her middle tightly.

"You're the best sister, Rose," I said and squeezed her. She put her arm around me. When I pulled back, she looked touched.

* * *

Jasper was sitting in our room reading a new book and sitting on the new chair that we had bought. I was too excited about living in this family to sit still and cooped up in a room! I made my way to run out the door, but I met Jasper's eyes. He silently pleaded me to stay with him. I hesitated slightly before walking out the door, mouthing my excuse of wanting to get to know the family more to him. Jasper grimaced, but nodded and let me go downstairs. Emmett was lying on the couch; his large book looking like it had been thrown across the room. There was a small indentation on the wall, indicating that my suspicions were 100% accurate.

"I'm bored," he exclaimed to me when I looked at him, raising an eyebrow towards the slightly ripped book. I giggled slightly.

"How about we . . . play a game?" I suggested, shrugging. "Do you have any board games?"

"Oh yes," Emmett exclaimed and jumped to his feet, running out of the room. He returned seconds later with a pile of boxes of chess boards. I counted them. Eight boards exactly. Emmett took them all out, babbling on and on about the complex rules he had made. There were some flaws, but I didn't want to correct them. Jasper would help him edit his rules at one point or another.

Soon, we were playing, with me cheating, of course. Emmett's face crumpled in anger as I beat him for the third time in a row.

"Some playmate you are," he grumbled, sounding like a little kid. His face lightened up instantly. "But at least you don't just say you're going to win like Edward does."

I chuckled at that as we set the pieces up yet again.

* * *

Carlisle came home from work earlier than expected and I instantly followed him into his office right next door to his bedroom.

"Hello, Alice," Carlisle chuckled.

"Hi, Carlisle," I said, sitting down in one of his many chairs. I bit my lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, honey, anything at all," Carlisle said, sitting down in a chair next to mine and looking at me with worry and curiosity.

"Is it . . . normal for me to not remember anything about my past?"I asked, feeling relieved to express the question that had been haunting the back of my mind ever since Jasper had pointed out I didn't remember my human life.

"Not remembering your past could be normal . . . or it might be different, depending upon how you look at things," Carlisle explained, tapping his knees and leaning back in his chair. "We have no clue what happened to you so that won't help. Either you could've had some sort of terrible death that caused you from knocking your head before transformation . . . no, no that couldn't be it. You don't remember your transformation, either, is that correct?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Well, then you possibly could've had such traumatic events leading up to your transformation that your mind has blocked everything out to stop you from going through pain of the event again."

I nodded, not feeling any better about my lack of memory. A comforting arm was wrapped around my shoulder and Carlisle pulled me into his chest.

"Alice, you're absolutely wonderful," he soothed me. "Nothing, not even amnesia of some sort, can take away that."

I smiled and hugged Carlisle, my father, back.

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**A/N: I entered the Plot Bunny Contest so if you want to read my story "Beautiful" and then vote for me (when voting's open at this link: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2318066/Plot_Bunny_Contest ) that would be wonderful. Please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	16. Chapter 16: Fitting in Part II

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for all your love and reviews. It truly keeps this story going! Now, I'm really, _really _sleepy, so bear with me. Another filler-in/choppy chapter. This time Jasper gets a lil' Cullen family bonding. **

**I'm sad-this story only has 20 chapters and I don't want it to end so soon! But, I do, at the same time, want it to. That way, we can get on with the sequel/companion story! More about me at the bottom!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here doesn't belong to me. I own nothing._  
**

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When we sing the story  
Make sure your song is right.  
Finally proved the message true.  
See what love can do.  
Oh, see what love can do.**_

_**-Eric Clapton, See What Love Can Do**_

**Chapter Sixteen: Fitting in Part II**

**Jasper POV**

Alice had gone hunting with Emmett and Edward . . . and not me. I couldn't help the pang of jealousy and hurt that crashed through my system. Of course, I knew she loved me more than anything in the whole world, but I at least would like to have come with her so I wouldn't get stuck with Rosalie and Esme all alone. I was absolutely awkward around everybody because I didn't trust them and they didn't trust me.

Oh, Alice, how I wish you would've looked beyond your blinding happiness and see how I am suffering!

_Whitlock, look at you! Are you not a man anymore?_

I am a man, manlier than you'll ever be, I quietly told Whitlock inside my head.

I walked quietly down the stairs, regretting my decision instantly. Esme was down here, just reading a magazine in the couch. She glanced up to see me frozen at the bottom step. Esme smiled at me and I nodded, swallowing some venom that had been idly sitting in my mouth. I was very tense, wondering what my next move should be.

"Hello, Jasper," Esme whispered quietly before getting up. My muscles tightened more. She grabbed one of the older clocks sitting on the mantle, her brow creasing when she noticed it was broken. She smirked. "You wouldn't happen to know how to fix this clock, now would you?"

"I have no clue, ma'am," I shook my head. "But I could always try. It looks rather simple."

Why did I just volunteer myself to spend time getting to know someone? I blinked and walked slowly over to Esme and she handed me the clock. I studied it carefully before realizing what I had to do. "What tools do you have?"

"Oh, they're in the garage," Esme said leading me in the direction of the garage. I quickly located the toolbox and grabbed the tools I needed before getting to work. Esme watched over my shoulder as I concentrated on the tiniest tweak I needed to make, hoping I wouldn't break it. I breathed a sigh of relief and set the tools down, giving Esme the clock.

"Here you go, ma'am," I said and she took the clock before smiling gratefully at me.

"Thank you so much, Jasper," she said. "I don't know what I would've done if it weren't for you." She probably would've just gone to Carlisle or Rosalie if I hadn't have been here, but I didn't want to burst her bubble. She gently stroked one of my curls that had fallen over my eye. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face from her maternal care she was giving me.

* * *

I was itching for something new to get my hands on to read. When I was in the Civil War, we'd always have books all around and I had gotten into the nasty habit of needing something to always read that was fresh and new, otherwise, I'd get . . . twitchy and short-tempered. Now that I had finished the book Alice had gotten me, I had nothing to do except socialize, which I wasn't really that excited about at all. I bit my lip, wandering around the hall and stopping to take a quick glance at a room I had stumbled upon when Alice had requested I brought her something from the living room. This house was surely a maze.

The room was like heaven to me-full of books of all different subjects, varying lengths and authors. I desperately wanted to go in and stroke the spine of one, or flip through the pages of another, smelling the lovely aroma that came with books. But it wasn't my room, so I never ventured in.

It was someone's study, I could tell. There was a desk with a bunch of papers and pens all over it and a chair that had a coat draped over the back of it. What I found the most amazing about this room was that the books were assorted, something you'd never really find in another's library. Other's liked a specific genre or author and only read books on that, but this was like the largest library in the world. I stood there, unsure if I should go in and just see what books there were hidden in the hundreds of shelves.

"I see you've found my study," a deep voice sounded from behind me. I jumped and wheeled around to face Carlisle standing behind me. "Hello, Jasper."

"Hello, sir," I nodded, remembering my manners. "I was just on my way-"

"No, no," Carlisle shook his head, stopping me from leaving the hallway. "You can come in if you want."

"Really?" The Jasper part of me asked out loud and Whitlock growled within me. _It's a trap . . ._ "I mean, that's very nice of you, sir."

"Please, call me Carlisle," Carlisle said. I nodded.

"Carlisle," I repeated.

"After you," Carlisle gestured and I turned toward the library. I took a few steps and was inside the wonderful study of Carlisle Cullen. My eyes swept over the thousands of books, all old and yet looking brand new. "You can take any you want. Just return them when you're done."

"Really?" I asked again, looking at him. Only part of my mouth was grinning, the other side frowning, showing just how conflicted I was on the inside.

"Yes, of course," Carlisle smiled. "Whatever in this house is part of yours as well, now that you're in the family."

I kept my best to try to hide my excitement as I walked over to the first bookshelf, though I still had a slight skip in my step. I grabbed the first one at the top, and opened it up. I read a few lines and closed it, looking up at Carlisle who was watching me with a proud-parent-like look on his face.

"Thanks," I said, nodding, before walking out the door.

"Anytime," Carlisle replied as I walked down the hall.

* * *

I was returning the fifth book I had taken from Carlisle's library when I saw Edward come walking up to me. My eyebrows pinched together. Was he going to be angry with me from taking some of his 'father's' books?

"You know, he is really touched that you feel comfortable enough to borrow some of his books," Edward commented, putting his hands into his pockets and looking at all the books on the shelf. I glanced at him and he smiled at me. "I heard him say it was 'father-son bonding' to him." Edward chuckled, shaking his head and looking down.

"What's it like?" I asked quietly.

"Mind reading?" Edward guessed and I nodded. "Well, you hear some useful things . . . and some things you don't want to hear. One time, before Emmett was here, I heard Carlisle hoping that Rosalie would be the significant other for me . . ." Edward shuddered. I tried to stifle my laughter, but I soon spread it to Edward when it became too much to hold in. We both were chuckling for a couple of minutes. Rosalie had been anything but friendly to me the second I had walked through the door. "Don't get me wrong, though. Rosalie's nice enough when you warm up to her. She . . . has Emmett. They're meant to be, and I can just wait for another vampire to come along . . ." His pain made me grimace. Having someone to love you and care for you was definitely the cure to any sorrows you had, and Edward hadn't met that special girl yet. I sympathized with him, knowing just how he feels. Before Alice, everything was painful. Edward smiled sheepishly at me, knowing I felt his pain. "She just doesn't like strangers. Rosalie's all about taking care of her family since she can't start her own."

"Oh," I nodded. I picked up the next book on the shelf and turned to Edward. "Thanks for letting Alice and me take your room. Sorry that we-well, she-mixed up your music."

"It's okay," Edward laughed. "I could only expect that from Alice. She's quite a girl."

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding.

"Well, I'll allow you to read your book," Edward said and walked out the door. I followed him. "I'm going to work on some more music." I heard Alice gasp from our room and she sped down the hall, nearly running into Edward.

"May I join you?" she asked and Edward chuckled. He winked at me.

"I don't know . . ." he teased and I smirked.

"Please, please, _please_?" Alice begged him, pouting. Edward sighed exaggeratedly.

". . . Fine," he said after a while and Alice ran down the stairs. Edward chuckled, smiling at me. We shared knowing looks. "Why'd you have to bring her along with you?"

At that, I laughed, smiling genuinely at Edward. Alice growled from downstairs.

"Stop laughing!" Only made me laugh harder.

* * *

"Alice, I need to hunt," I exclaimed. Alice just snorted, peaking up from her book.

"Okay," she said, trying her best to look innocent, but there was a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Go ahead."

My jaw fell open.

"W-without you?" I choked out. Alice's gleam subsided for a second when she heard the hurt in my voice.

"Yes," Alice nodded. "Rose is going. Why don't you join her?"

"I don't know . . ." I studied the floor. "Why can't you come with me?"

"Jasper, can't you fend for yourself without me?" Alice asked.

Ever since we had joined the Cullens, Alice had been more distant with me, making me wander the house alone. It was like she had been raising me (well, more like resurrecting me) as a mother would her child. Mothers would normally care for their child 110% more than the child cared for himself, and then they gradually let that go and show the child that he can go off on his own without her support all the time.

"Yes, but—"

"But what?"

"But . . . I'm not . . . _good_ . . . with new people who are supposed to be my family," I admitted, looking down. Alice smiled at me.

"Jasper, you _are_ good with people," she said. "For crying out loud, you can read their emotions! That probably makes you even better dealing with them than me! Jasper, you _can_ do this. Just take baby steps. You'll soon be just like another brother to everyone."

"You're still not coming with me?" I questioned after a moment of silence. Alice laughed, shaking her head and I walked, defeated, down the stairs to find Rosalie staring expectantly at me.

"I overheard you saying that you want to come hunting with me," she said quietly, her face barely moving. We stared at each other, nearly sizing each other up.

"If you would allow me to," I said at last.

"Sure," was all Rosalie said before she strutted out of the house and into the forest surrounding us. I quietly followed her. We didn't run very far. "You're a vegetarian?" Rosalie questioned as we stalked some deer.

"Yes," I grimaced. Of course, we had to come to the Cullens when I was struggling from eating a human recently. Rosalie didn't say much more. Instead, she jumped and pounced on a deer. I cringed. I hated deer the most. They were herbivores and didn't taste a three hundredth as good as humans. At least the carnivores were a little sweeter. I chased after the other deer and drank it, trying to think about anything but the taste. When Rosalie was done, she walked up to me.

"Are you ready?" she asked. I was only half full, but I didn't want to say that. I always had to drink so much more blood than Alice to be able to stay satisfied for a few days. I didn't really want to tell Rosalie how I had killed a human recently and needed more blood than usual.

"Yes, ma'am," I said quietly and Rosalie smirked.

"You don't have to call me 'ma'am'," she said, her smile growing. "I'm just Rosalie, your sister."

"Okay, Rosalie," I said, mimicking her smile before heading back to the house.

* * *

I walked casually back to Carlisle's library, hungry for a new book. Carlisle absolutely had the best taste in books. I jumped in surprise when Emmett appeared behind a bookshelf. He smiled gently at me.

"You like books?" he questioned, jerking his head towards the bookshelf he was leaning on.

"Yeah," I nodded, timidly putting away my already read book. "Do you?"

"Depends," he said. "Only the captivating ones."

I let out a single laugh.

"Do you like to do other things?" he asked and I pursed my lips, thinking back to my Confederate days. We would read, wrestle, have snowball fights (when there was slush in Texas, which was rare), and play chess. I didn't really think I was ready to wrestle again-it would bring back too many painful memories of Maria's army.

"I like to play chess?" I said it like a question. Emmett's smile grew and grew.

"Then I have a very good game for you, dear new brother," he said evilly, wiggling his eyebrows.

I was suddenly very nervous. He zipped out of the room and quickly returned with a stack of boxes of chess boards. "I've come up with my own set of rules and everything." He explained the rules to me as we lined the boards up, one by one. I helped him also with his rules, which needed a bit touching up. We were soon battling it out.

"Checkmate," I said quietly and Emmett swore.

"Best two out of three," he pushed and I chuckled.

"I've already won two," I said. His eyes narrowed.

"Best three out of five," he challenged.

"You're on," I said and we set our pieces back up.

* * *

**A/N: So, I entered the Plot Bunny Contest and I wouldn't mind you voting for me on August 5th at this link: www. fanfiction. net/u/2318066/Plot_Bunny_Contest Just take the spaces out. I want to be at at least 100 reviews when I finish this story, so please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	17. Chapter 17: School

**A/N: So, there's not much to say here for once in my author's note. But I'll probably eat my words in 3 seconds. I still want to be over 100 reviews by the time this story's over so please review! I'm glad so many of you guys are enjoying this story-and I love every review. Sometimes when I feel down or have writer's block, I just read all your reviews and things start to go better for me. That sounded cheesy. Read on!**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here belongs to Stephenie Meyer or Toby Mac. I own nothing._  
**

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* * *

You turned away when I looked you in the eye,  
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,  
Seems like you're fighting for your life,  
But why? oh why?  
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,  
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta nowhere,  
And there's always scars  
When you fall that far**_

_**-Toby Mac, Get Back Up**_

**Chapter Seventeen: School**

**Alice POV**

"Alice, we're going to sign everyone up for school," Carlisle spoke casually as I walked into the living room. Jasper followed me silently, nimbly interlocking his fingers with mine. I squeezed them gingerly and felt Jasper's love fly toward me.

"Really?" I asked and sat down at the table Carlisle was reading at. Jasper was tense. I looked at him, wondering what could possibly be wrong.

"We were wondering if you two would like to enroll," Carlisle said and set his book down, his wise golden eyes looking between Jasper and me. "It's what we usually do. Esme and I act like we adopted all you 'kids' and you go to school, so we can stay here longer without getting caught."

Jasper was biting his lip, his eyes boring into the side of my head. I looked up at him and nearly gasped. He had a tormented look on his face that made my heart explode with agony. What was wrong?

"Thank you for the offer, Carlisle," I started, smiling at him. "I think we'll discuss the subject before fully deciding."

"Of course," Carlisle said. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

I gave Carlisle another smile before getting up and leading Jasper up to our room. When I turned to face him, he didn't make eye contact with me. Instead, he just studied the flooring of our bedroom. I slowly walked up to him and put my hand on his cheek.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered quietly. Jasper still didn't make eye contact with me. He just shook his head, staring far away.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'm sorry that you have a terribly weak mate. I'm sorry that you have to deal with my weakness day in and day out."

"Weakness?" I questioned.

"You know that," Jasper mumbled.

"No," I said strongly. "What I know is that you have _barely_ started the diet after eighty-eight years of hunting humans!" Jasper flinched at the word. "If anyone in this family has called you weak, I swear I will—"

"No one's said that," Jasper interrupted me quietly.

"Then why do you think such a thing?" I asked angrily. Jasper shouldn't think down on himself so much.

"I can feel it," he mumbled, his gaze drifting away from mine. "They're all wary of me." I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no idea what to say. It was true—the Cullens _were_ wary of Jasper.

"Jasper, they're not wary because of your . . . _newness_ to the diet," I started, and suddenly regretted what I was going to say next.

"They're just wary of my scars, aren't they?" Jasper spat out angrily.

"That's only because of their vampire instincts," I insisted, hoping he wouldn't get too upset with himself. "It doesn't have anything to do with you. Everyone loves you to death, their just a little wary of the outside of you, not the inside."

Jasper sighed and sat down on the chair behind him. I hopped into his lap.

"Maybe you're right," he said, resigned. I'd never seen him like this before. He usually refused to hear any of my soothing that he was _not_ evil. Jasper closed his eyes, flinching. "I just can't picture myself in a room full of humans with no escape . . . ending well." I gently caressed his face and he grabbed my hand.

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to," I said and Jasper's red eyes looked straight into my gold ones. I could see the pain and jealousy come through him as he studied the color of my eyes. "I'll stay with you here."

"I couldn't force you to do that," Jasper said. "I know how much going to school means to you."

"If you're staying home, that's what I want to do."

"Alice, I'm not going to hold you back. You're going to school," Jasper demanded.

"I guess . . ." I sighed, winking at him. He smiled a little and shook his head.

"You sure are something, Alice," Jasper chuckled and kissed me on the forehead.

* * *

When Jasper was off hunting with Rosalie (they had grown to become "hunting buddies", as I called them in my head, and always hunted together), I told Carlisle that I would be the only one enrolling in school and how Jasper wouldn't even venture into the town because he didn't even want humans knowing he was in this house. Carlisle understood exactly and I was soon enrolled in school with the rest of my siblings.

School was _boring_. Especially if I knew I was abandoning Jasper by going to this to learn things I already knew. Part of my mind stored all my lessons and assignments so I could have some memory of going to school, which I didn't remember. I pouted and drummed my fingers almost hard enough to dent the desk I was sitting at. _Fifteen minutes, eighteen seconds until lunch comes and I can go home to Jasper again._ Those fifteen minutes took longer than the twenty-eight years of waiting to _find_ Jasper and I barely kept a human pace when I ran to the car. Edward sped all of us off home for lunch, Emmett chuckling at how anxious I was about seeing Jasper again.

"Well, I'd like to see you try going that long without Rosalie," I retorted back as we pulled into the driveway. That shut Emmett up. I passed by a window and saw Esme and Jasper laughing together. It was the best thing I had seen ever since I had met Jasper that I didn't want to ruin it. I quickly got back in the car, motioning for everyone else to do so.

"Why aren't you going in?" Rosalie asked as Edward, who understood my actions, drove us back toward the school.

"Don't know," I said, trying to hide my proud smile.

* * *

**A/N: So, this was probably the last chapter with random stuff at the Cullen house. We'll get on with the plot more this next chapter. Review to make it come faster!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	18. Chapter 18: Married!

**A/N: So, because I got 100 reviews, I am going to update earlier than expected. Thank you guys so much for reviewing! I love each and every review you guys give me. So, read on!**

**_Disclaimer: Nothing in here is mine._  
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* * *

In your eyes  
the light the heat  
in your eyes  
I am complete  
in your eyes  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
in your eyes  
the resolution of all the fruitless searches  
in your eyes  
I see the light and the heat  
in your eyes  
oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light  
the heat I see in your eyes**_

_**-Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes**_

**Chapter Eighteen: Married?**

**Jasper POV**

I grabbed another new book from Carlisle's library and headed out into the living room to read while Esme tirelessly cleaned everything around the house. She also read and tended to her gardens, and I'd follow her wherever she went. That was the silent arrangement we had made over the past few months while everyone was at work or school. Esme was quite a character, actually, and we both grew real close over three months of being forced to stay with each other. Well, I guess it wasn't by choice because I could choose to ignore her and just sit around in my bedroom.

"Have you read any good books lately?" Esme asked casually, sweeping some of the dust that had gathered on the clocks off.

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure you've read them all," I admitted and Esme laughed.

"Probably," she agreed and looked at the cover of my book. "You're reading _Shannon's Way_?"

"Yeah," I nodded, smiling sheepishly after being caught reading a romance. "I just loved _The Green Years_ so much that I had to read this one."

"A. J. Cronin has a way with plot and structure," Esme agreed, smiling warmly at me before looking at some of the plants she had in pots around the house. "I'm afraid I'll have to run to the store and grab some more soil. These plants aren't doing well without the proper brand."

"Of course," I nodded, closing my book. "I'll be here when you're back, don't worry."

"Are you sure?" she asked and I assured her that I'd be just fine in this house all alone for the first time. Esme reluctantly left and I went up to my room, sort of childishly spooked by the sudden silence. I passed by Alice's dresser and saw something shiny glint from deep within a box. I normally didn't rummage through Alice's stuff, but I was far too curious as to what it was to respect her privacy. I swiftly dug into the box and brought out a ring. Not just any ring, but a _wedding_ ring. It was all silver with four indentations running around it . . . and it was for me. I knew that instantly, but I didn't want to believe it.

Sure, all the Cullens were married (apart from Edward), but I thought Alice hadn't wanted to get married or anything like that. We didn't need a ring to know how much we loved each other and I thought weddings were for only humans. But Alice wanted to marry me so much that she was going to take the role of the man and propose to _me. _What kind of a mate was I to her? I didn't even know that she wanted to get married, and I had to give her what she wanted, even though I wasn't really sure if I was ready to get married. This had to be done quickly so Alice wouldn't see me proposing to her before it happened.

Just in time, Esme pulled the car into the driveway and I raced to meet her.

"What's going on, Jasper?" she asked as I got into the passenger seat.

"I'm going to marry Alice," I stated, ducking my head, and Esme smiled widely. "And I have to get everything ready before she sees. That means I need you to take me into town to allow me to buy a ring."

"But you said you didn't want to come into town," Esme protested, but still pulled out of the driveway and sped off towards town.

"I changed my mind," I said gravely. "My eyes are dark enough; no one will notice them."

We pulled into a jeweler's and quickly went inside. I held my breath, feeling my thirst nearly burn a hole in my throat. The woman greeted Esme.

"Who's here with you?" she asked.

"This is Jasper, Rosalie's cousin," Esme lied easily. "He's in town for the weekend and I needed his opinion of what new rings I should get my husband and me. The old ones are getting rather dull."

"Of course," the girl said, her eyes trailing up and down my body. I tried to ignore the desire coming from her and kept me attention on what ring I would buy Alice. It would be something not too ostentatious-just enough to symbolize our marriage. I wound up picking out a silver ring like the one she had gotten for me, but it just had two rectangles in the center of it. It was perfect.

We quickly bought the ring and sped off home. I only had ten minutes until Alice was supposed to come home from school. I ran upstairs instantly and prepared myself for this moment. I looked in the mirror and noticed every flaw possible: the twelve scars on my face, my dark eyes that only vampires could tell were crimson-colored, the frightening uncertainty my eyes held, my teeth gnawing ferociously on my bottom lip. I closed my eyes and sighed. I grabbed a comb from the counter below the mirror and parted my hair, taming the curls that had minds of their own.

I heard the car park and everyone rush inside.

_Here goes nothing_, I thought nervously. Alice's footsteps rushed up the stairs and I sank down on one knee and opened up the small box, facing the door that was bound to be open any millisecond. The door flew open, like I predicted. Alice zipped in and gasped at my position. Her hand flew to her mouth and she walked slowly toward me and I took her free hand. I took a deep breath, my nervousness slowly dissipating as I felt Alice's happiness and love flow freely around her.

"Alice Cullen," I said, using the last name she had adopted. "Before meeting you . . . life just wasn't . . . _livable_ for me. I had nothing that made me want to live another day. Hate and war were always around me, no matter what I did to try to make it stop. I hated myself . . . But when I saw you at that diner, everything turned over. You made me . . . happy and helped me learn that life _can_ be enjoyable and peaceful. You've helped me become a good person . . . You saved me from the terrible life I had once lived and I can never fully express my gratitude to you . . . Miss Alice Cullen," my tongue felt extremely heavy and my insides were quivering with the next words I was going to say, "I love you more than any man has _ever_ loved a woman. Will you marry me?" Alice was sobbing tearlessly with joy and she threw her arms around me.

"Yes," she whispered into my ear. "A million times yes!" I hugged her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

We pulled apart and a slid the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. Alice put both her hands on either side of my face and gave me a passionate kiss-the first full-of-love passionate kiss I had ever received. I kissed her back before Alice pulled away and smiled brightly at me. I got up from my one knee; feeling relieved, and followed Alice downstairs to inform the rest of our family of our engagement.

* * *

I sighed and pulled Alice into my lap. She rested her delicate head on my shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes. I played with her left hand, fumbling with the silver ring on her ring finger. I huffed.

"What?" Alice asked, smiling at me and giving me a peck on the cheek.

"I just don't understand how this little ring is supposed to symbolize our love for each other," I explained, spinning the ring back and forth around Alice's small finger.

"Well, it doesn't," Alice giggled. "If we had rings that were as big as our love, they'd be larger than the universe-and that wouldn't even be worthy enough to show how much we mean to each other. This ring only symbolizes how we loved each other enough to take the next step in love and get married. We'll be the only two vampires to ever know how much we love each other."

"Jasper, get down here! We've got some huntin' to do!" Emmett boomed from downstairs. I growled as Alice laughed. It was the night before our wedding and Emmett had insisted on taking me out for a 'Cullen men tradition'.

"Do I really have to go?" I whined into Alice's ear and she got up on her feet.

"Well, you _do _have two choices," she said, trying to hide a smile. "Either you go down there on your own, or Emmett forcibly removes you from the premises." I groaned and got up while Alice laughed. I gave her a swift kiss, knowing this would be the last I would see her until she was walking down the aisle to marry me. I jogged down the stairs and Emmett clapped me on the back.

"And so the fun begins," he said evilly as Edward rolled his eyes, smirking at me. We all left the house-even Carlisle was coming, because the girls were going to have a "preparation party" inside of the house and 'didn't want any guys ruining it'.

"So, we're hunting?" I questioned as we all ran into the forest.

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "It's what we did for my wedding."

"And mine," Emmett agreed. Edward's jealousy shot up and I smiled sympathetically at him.

"We're getting the more . . . interesting animals to catch, for a special treat," Edward explained as we ran far away from the house. "Mountain lion, grizzly . . . what's your favorite, Jasper?"

"I'm not really sure," I said, pursing my lips. There wasn't much variety to animals, except for the slight change in tang between carnivores and herbivores.

"Come on, there's got to be _one_," Emmett pressed.

"Fox?" I shrugged.

"Then we'll be eating fox tonight!" Emmett exclaimed in a singsong voice. He really got into things. We ran and ran for nearly two hours until we found a bunch of foxes and had a feast. Not a very tasty feast, but a feast all the same. We were talking and laughing while we took the long way home. I was the center of every inappropriate joke Emmett cracked, and even Edward cracked a couple.

"Thank heaven the ladies aren't with us," Carlisle sighed at his sons' ridiculing and I smiled wryly at him. "Actually, I'd rather have it if the ladies were here-they'd restrain my sons!" The sun was rising now and I felt excitement radiate from every single molecule of the Cullen household we were approaching quickly. I suddenly felt more nervous than ever before as I realized this was my wedding day.

* * *

**A/N: Did the proposal go okay? I'm not good at writing sentimental words, let alone saying them to people. I hope I did Jasper justice! Expect the next update in two days-no way am I going to post so quickly anymore when we're only away two chapters away from the end of this story!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	19. Chapter 19: A Private Marriage

**A/N: I'm starting to get emotional, guys! One more chapter after this one! Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed my story! I really, _really_ love your reviews to death.**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here doesn't belong to me. I own nothing._  
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Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.  
I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart.  
From here on after let's stay the way we are right now,  
And share all the love and laughter  
That a lifetime will allow.**_

_**I cross my heart and promise to  
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.  
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.**_

_**You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete,  
And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet.  
As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see,  
So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be. **_

_**-George Strait, I Cross My Heart**_

**Chapter Nineteen: A Private Marriage**

**Alice POV**

All we did the whole time the guys were gone was get ready for the wedding. All the décor had been planned and our dresses and tuxes had already been chosen, so we only had to get dressed up as much as we could. There wasn't much we could do with my hair, and ended up curling some of the ends with a curling iron. Sure, it wasn't as good of a curling iron as the ones in the future would be, but I still wanted curly hair today. I had to tweak my dress a lot to make sure it complemented my form and was not too long. I actually _really_ liked tweaking someone else's design and making it more my own.

We had hired an officiant from a different city to come to our house and marry Jasper and I because Jasper had explained to me that he didn't want Portland rocked by the scandal of me marrying Rosalie's cousin. He also didn't want attention drawn on him too much. The girl who worked at the jeweler's Jasper bought my ring at had apparently blabbed about his stunning looks to the whole city and everyone was anxious to meet him. Even though I laughed a lot whenever Jasper's eyes bugged out when Emmett told him some girls asked if they could come over to our house just to get a glimpse of Jasper, I felt sorry for him. He didn't like being the center of attention, and yet he went into town just to buy me a wedding ring.

I swirled around in front of the mirror and smiled at how beautiful I looked. I knew I looked beautiful, of course, but it just was a reassurance that I was hopefully good enough for Jasper. Feeling and looking beautiful helped me try to come to terms with how I _did_ deserve to marry this wonderful man.

"You look beautiful," Esme commented, dusting off my dress.

"You do as well," I laughed. Rosalie walked in, stunning as always, brushing her hair.

"Are you nervous?" she asked and I shook my head. I was actually pretty excited. The doorbell rang, indicating that the officiant was here.

"Lead him to the backyard where everything is set up," I called to Esme as she rushed to greet him. "Tell him I'll be ready to go in a few!" I was slightly panicked now as I put my shoes on and went downstairs to find Carlisle waiting for me.

"You look beautiful, Alice," Carlisle smiled and linked his arm with mine.

"You look pretty handsome yourself," I said, smiling brightly.

"Are you ready for this, Alice?" Carlisle asked as Edward started playing the piano and Rosalie and Emmett marched up, followed by Esme.

"Even in my forgotten human life I was ready for this," I beamed before the traditional wedding march sounded. We walked up the aisle slowly and I caught sight of my fiancé. He looked absolutely gorgeous standing there and smiling sheepishly at me. Adoration radiated off of every inch of him as Carlisle and I made our way towards him.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion and I heard every little thing: my heals crunching softly against the dirt, the sway of my dress, the heartbeat of the officiant (who was standing as far away from Jasper as possible without looking rude), Jasper's hair tickling his forehead as the wind blew it. I didn't want to forget a single thing about this day, and I knew that wouldn't be possible.

I reached Jasper finally and Carlisle passed me on, acting like the father he was truly like to me. Jasper looked deeply into my eyes, his red ones showing how much I meant to him. Jasper had angled himself so the officiant didn't see his red eyes. I beamed at him, not even hearing the words the man was saying.

"Alice," Jasper started his vows, taking my hand in his, "you are truly the most optimistic, loving, and joyful person I have ever met in my life. That day in the diner when you met me was truly the day that changed my entire reason for existing. You gave me hope and saved me from the monster I had become. To be able to have the opportunity to marry you makes me believe I did _something_ right in my life for once to deserve you. I am truly honored to have your hand in marriage and I promise to be worthy of your love, be faithful to you, love you, and protect you, from this day forward and for eternity."

I smiled and began my vows, "Jasper, you are absolutely the best man I could ever ask for. You truly balance me out with your calm nature. You've taught me that you don't always have to rush into the future-that the present is something to be cherished. When I first met you, we were both pretty broken. I wasn't as confident as I am now and you weren't as . . . trusting. I am very grateful that we both had the opportunity to mend each other-you teaching me what it feels like to be loved, and me teaching you how to love. Jasper, I promise to be worthy of your trust, love you, respect you, and protect you, from this day forward and for eternity."

"Please take out the wedding rings," the officiant instructed and Emmett handed us our rings. "Your wedding rings are a symbol of your eternal love for one another and commitment to your marriage. Please join hands and look deeply into each other's eyes. Jasper, please place the ring on Alice's ring finger of her left hand."

Jasper gently slid my ring on my ring finger and stared deeply into my eyes.

"With this ring," Jasper started, having memorized the whole saying by now. "I, Jasper Whitlock, pledge to thee Alice Cullen; to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish; always and forever; as long as we both shall live."

"Alice, please place the ring on Jasper's ring finger of his left hand," the officiant said and I scooted the silver band onto Jasper's finger, covering a scar up.

"With this ring," I said, looking into Jasper's eyes with as much meaning as possible. "I, Alice Cullen, pledge to thee Jasper Whitlock; to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish; always and forever; as long as we both shall live."

"Alice and Jasper," the officiant stated, "you have pledged your eternal love to one another and your commitment to live together faithfully in lawful wedlock. By the authority vested in me by the laws of the State of Oregon, I pronounce you husband and wife. Jasper, you may kiss your bride! With honor, I proudly announce for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock."

Jasper and I beamed as he leaned in and gave me a passionate kiss, causing Emmett to hoot as loud as possible. We broke away laughing, and made our way down the aisle, looking at everyone around us. They were all smiling.

"We're married," Jasper breathed as the ceremony slowly died down.

"I know," I was just as shocked as Jasper. I was Mrs. Alice Whitlock Cullen now. I smiled and pulled Jasper down to me so I could kiss him again. When we pulled apart, he had a new gleam in his eyes-a gleam that I had been waiting for ever since I saw him in that first vision. It was the gleam of Jasper Cullen.

* * *

**A/N: I Googled how to write wedding vows and did write those all by myself. I hope they were good. I've never been married-I'm only 16-and I've never been to a traditional wedding. I gave Alice and Jasper an officiant because I got the vibe that Carlisle was the only really religious one in the family. Maybe Esme as well. I stole the officiant's lines from a Hawaiian wedding idea and made them my own. xD So, please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


	20. Epilogue

**A/N: So, here it is. The last chapter. I'm sorry it's so short, but I couldn't find a way to make it longer. Man, I'm already crying. There will be a long author's note at the end. Possibly sentimental, but I have issues with writing those things and not making them look like a robot said them. I decided to use a quote from Jackson Rathbone describing Jasper Whitlock because it's Jasper's last chapter and he finally realizes who he is. Okay, read on.**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is not mine. I own nothing._  
**

* * *

"_**Forged in war,  
Born of death,  
Saved by love."  
-Jackson Rathbone describing Jasper Whitlock**_

**Epilogue**

**Jasper POV**

Alice gently took the suitcase out of my hand and put it on our bed. She gingerly took out all the clothes that I had thrown in the case and threw them into our closet. Alice smirked halfheartedly and held up one of her . . . more revealing shirts that I had mistakenly packed before throwing it into the closet.

Dead silence filled the air as Alice quietly put the clothes back on their rightful racks. We stared at each other, her gold eyes burning deeply into my freshly red ones.

I had disappointed her. Knowing that statement was true caused me to sink down to my knees. There was no strength left in my body and I leaned on Alice for support.

"Oh, Jasper," Alice murmured and pulled me closer. Her nimble hands caressed my head and I sighed. I needed her comfort more than anything right now. "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes."

"But I make them all the time," I mumbled into her shirt, my voice breaking.

"Shh, shh . . ." Alice shushed, stroking my hair lovingly. "It's not your fault."

"Well, why us Stacey Higgins dead, then?" I snapped, my voice muffled by her cotton blouse. "I don't belong in this family."

"Jasper Whitlock Cullen!" Alice exclaimed and I looked up at her. "Just yesterday, when you had your golden eyes for the first time, you said that you were finally starting to feel like a Cullen. So you accidentally killed a human and we have to move again. Who cares? Everyone in this family has slipped up."

"Not Rosalie and Carlisle," I argued and Alice huffed; she had no comeback for that.

"That may be true," she allowed, "but golden eyes are not what make you a part of this family. Right here"—she put a finger on my eternally still heart—"right here is where it truly matters. You love this family, isn't that correct? And they _love you_. Who cares if you accidentally stray from the diet occasionally? You're a great person, Jazz. No one—not even a human—can take that away from you."

"Thanks," I sighed and Alice leaned down to kiss me.

"Anytime," she murmured against my lips. Alice pulled away and allowed me to stand up. "Come on. They want us downstairs."

I bit my lip as we walked out of our room. Even with Alice's words still burning in my memory, I didn't want to face my family right now.

To my surprise, no one was angry at me. In fact, they just acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"Hey, Jazz," Emmett called casually from the couch and I flinched. Would he yell at me for killing someone? "Want to play some chess before we have to…leave?"

"Oh." He wasn't angry at all. "Um, sure, I guess."

"Great," he grinned and, in an instant, he was gone.

Ten seconds later, he was back with all the boards. I helped him set them up and we started playing. After one round, Edward came up to us.

"May I play?" he asked. I looked at Emmett, uncertain. I'd heard how easy it was for Edward to cheat.

"No," Emmett answered simply and continued setting up the board once more. "You cheat."

"I'll play with you, Edward," Alice chirped, flitting to his side. She winked at me. "These boys are too afraid to lose. Not to mention they both cheat."

"Do not," Emmett argued.

"I know everything, Emmett," Alice chided, tapping her temple.

"Oh yeah? What's my middle name?"

"Da—"

"Now guys," Esme interrupted. "Be nice."

"Or we'll have to take the game away," Carlisle added with a chuckle.

Everyone was laughing at that point, even Rosalie who was pretending to read instead of watch us play. I looked around at everybody; at my family. Amazingly, we all get along and love each other, unlike all the other vampires in the world.

I'm glad Alice found me in that diner one rainy day in Philadelphia. I'm glad she pushed me to strive to do my best even when I wanted to give up. I'm glad she took me to this strange family that has chosen to accept me for who I am, even if I have trouble with their diet.

This new life is my savior. It is my ultimate haven. It is my rehabilitation from my past life . . . This life . . . this life Alice and I have chosen to live . . . this life is truly serenity.

* * *

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N: *blows nose with tissue* I'm really going to miss posting this story and reading all of your wonderful reviews. You guys have given me new-found confidence in the world of writing and definitely a joy of bringing stories to others. Now, please don't think this is the end yet, because I'm writing a semi-sequel/companion piece to this story. I can assure you that it won't be up for quite a while, because I'm waiting for my Twilighted version of this story to finish before posting it. So, follow me on Twitter (EmmaTwivamp) and put me on author alert because I probably won't post a notice or PM you guys to tell you when it's up. I'll be probably posting other one shots in the meantime so you can read those to tide you over during the (probably) 2 month break in between this story and the next. Oh, and you should read this amazing graphic novel I just bought. Smile by Raina Telgemeier. Trust me, it's a great read. I really didn't want to post this last chapter up because I knew it would be like saying a goodbye to you guys and I hate goodbyes. But, as a good friend of mine once said, goodbyes aren't the end-they're only just the beginning. I love all of you guys. Thank you so much to:**

**jilly611, CAROLINA GREY, AK, AliceWhitlockHale, cinnamin, Molli McMahon, -Kathrine-Alvers-, gpgal, Joydream, MoonbeamDancer, tigerlily0909, Meggieluvstwilight, SpiritofLove76, kk, wishinonastar27, Twinkle da new twilight, Vi0lentDelights, WildWriter85, horsejumper127, RockySinatra, kr, Pixie97, Lisilgirl, missalexwhitlock123, More-Than-Ever17, , Mackenzie L., Wink N Nodd, EmmyJazzyluver1, Amy, marsbareater12, jenni80, Beghim887, Alyce-Cullen, and Emelis. You guys rock and I hope to see you and my next story soon! And thanks to anyone who didn't review but instead put this on their favorite stories list, put this story on alert, put me on alert, added me to your favorite authors list, and/or read this story.  
**

**Until next time,**

**~Emma Lou aka Eclipse-Vamp :D  
**


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